• No, of course I don't want to go out on an actual mission.  I'd much rather stay cooped up in this tiny fucking cubicle like any other pencil-pusher.  Do you realize no one believes me when I say I'm a secret agent?  It's because I don't get to go on any sweet missions!  When do I get to shoot a gun?
  • This paystub will self-destruct in ten seconds.
  • Did you notice Hunt looks exactly like Tom Cruise?  That's so weird!
  • How am I supposed to tell you what it says?  It's HTML code, I'm not some sort of fucking computer nerd!
  • Quick, hide the paper footballs!
  • Yeah, your hidden camera is working.  Holy shit, did you see the tits on that girl?  Follow her.  I don't care, just do it!
  • You see Edwards over there?  Yeah, I poisoned his coffee.  Wait for it…three…two…boom, he's down!  Oh my God, he's fucking dying!  This is the best day ever!
  • HEY!  I told you to clean the fucking men's room!  It looks like SHIT in there!  What are we el paying you for-o?  Do you want me to report you to INS?  I have them on fucking speed dial!  Clean-o el bathroom-o!  El urine-o FUCKING-O EVERYWHERE-O!
  • Okay, there's a t-intersection coming up.  Take a left.  No wait—did I say left?  No-no-no take a—Paul?……….uhh, Paul?
  • Want some gum?  I know there's two different colors, that's just the brand.  Dude, just play along, I'm sooo bored!