- No, of course I don't want to go out on an actual mission. I'd much rather stay cooped up in this tiny fucking cubicle like any other pencil-pusher. Do you realize no one believes me when I say I'm a secret agent? It's because I don't get to go on any sweet missions! When do I get to shoot a gun?
- This paystub will self-destruct in ten seconds.
- Did you notice Hunt looks exactly like Tom Cruise? That's so weird!
- How am I supposed to tell you what it says? It's HTML code, I'm not some sort of fucking computer nerd!
- Quick, hide the paper footballs!
- Yeah, your hidden camera is working. Holy shit, did you see the tits on that girl? Follow her. I don't care, just do it!
- You see Edwards over there? Yeah, I poisoned his coffee. Wait for it
boom, he's down! Oh my God, he's fucking dying! This is the best day ever!
- HEY! I told you to clean the fucking men's room! It looks like SHIT in there! What are we el paying you for-o? Do you want me to report you to INS? I have them on fucking speed dial! Clean-o el bathroom-o! El urine-o FUCKING-O EVERYWHERE-O!
- Okay, there's a t-intersection coming up. Take a left. No waitdid I say left? No-no-no take aPaul?
- Want some gum? I know there's two different colors, that's just the brand. Dude, just play along, I'm sooo bored!