It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.
During my freshman year of school, my roommate (who had sprained her ankle) left her crutches in our shared living room. My friends and I got really drunk and started playing around with them one night. When it was my turn, I heard a crack coming from a crutch, and decided it was time to end the game. The next day, while going down the front steps of our residence building, one of the crutches snapped, and my roommate fell and broke her leg. Ah well, she drank my milk.
Angela, L'Universite Concordia
Last year, my roommates and I lived next to a crazy couple with at least 20 cats that we knew of, most not used to humans but only to be fed. One of our roommates had a dog that didn't care for the cats so sometimes the cats would eat the dog food when we fed the dog. We would constantly chase the cats away when feeding the dog but they kept returning when we left. After 2 weeks of this, we had a great idea. I knew a girl who had a stun gun and we had some extra speaker wires. So we soldered the wires to the stun gun's positive charge and ground and than connected them to our grill top on opposite ends and set it one the porch and poured salt water on the grill and than set the dog bowl with food on top of the grill. The Speaker wires were long so we hid inside.We brought the dog inside as well and waited. Less than a minute later there were eleven cats that crowded the bowl, my roommate than pulled the trigger and the cats just freaked! They screeched so loud and all ran in opposite directions. 2 nights of this, the cats never ate from the bowl, especially after we called the the humane society.
B. , Arizona State University
My roomate freshman year was a clingy kid who would follow us EVERYWHERE. Plus, he was so awkward that everyone I had come over to the room would immediately get a facebook friend request followed by an emodicon-laden message about how great it was to meet them, despite the fact that he had not said a word to them. I was a nice enough guy to him, but by the end of the year we had kind of had it. We all bought a six pack of good beer and were just going to chill and reminise; while we were talking about what we were going to buy, he pipes up and tells us that he'll take a Miller-Lite, this coming from the uninvited kid who is anti-drinking and pro-douchebag. We took all the caps off, drank his miller lite and replaced it with O'Douls. He drank the six pack and started acting like he was wasted and telling us how drunk he was. We called him out and haven't talked to him since.
Anonymous, University of Dayton
My Junior year, I moved into house with my friend and his other 2 housemates. The day before I moved in, the other guy, Peter, was supposed to move out. Well he didn't move out, and he was a slob, getting high drinking all the time never cleaned the house, etc. Well one day Peter went to the bathroom and pissed EVERYWHERE, didn't flush, poop in the toilet, vomit in the sink, it was gross. Nobody liked Peter so I decided to have some fun. I put on some gloves, grabbed one of his shirts and decided to clean the bathroom with his shirt. After I cleaned the bathrrom, I hung his shirt back up in his closet. Two days later I see him wearing the same shirt. He still doesn't know.
During my junior year of college, I lived in a sweet 3-bedroom apartment near the beach in San Diego. One of the girls, whose family owned the house, was a complete bitch. Every day, she would bring home some tofu/wheat grass/disgusting healthy dish, eat half, and then eat our leftovers. We also suspected she had a coke problem, but we could never prove it. We'd finally had enough. She'd been working on a presentation for weeks and we knew how important it was because she needed an A to keep her grades up, thus earning her the privilege of continuing to use daddy's credit card and living rent-free. The night before the presentation, my roommate and I invited a friend over to make pot brownies with us. In addition to the special brownies, we also made a batch of regular brownies. We made sure to leave the regular ones out on the stove, knowing full well that bitch roommate would steal some. And sure enough she did. So early the next morning, I switched the regular brownies for a tray of the special brownies, knowing she would take one for breakfast. Judging from what was left in the tray, she had about 2 and a half pot brownies before getting up to give her presentation, and then absolutely bombed it. She forgot the speech, she couldn't work the overhead projector, and she was stumbling all over the place. According to a kid in the class, the professor actually asked her, in front of an entire class, if she was high. She ended up failing the presentation and getting a D in the class, bringing her GPA down. Not only did daddy take away her credit card, but was asked to see a substance abuse counselor, who in turn called her parents and informed them that their daughter had a drug problem. She apparently admitted to having a coke addiction! Daddy ended up cutting off his princess and forced her to move back home. The best part? Daddy felt so bad about his daughter's roommates having to put up with her drug addiction and bad habits, that he let us stay in the apartment for the rest of the semester RENT-FREE. I still don't feel bad.
Jamie, Name of School Withheld
Awesome! Send yours to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com and if you can, try and keep them shorter. That last one was incredible, but a tad bit long.