Still accepting the word "cyberspace."
Multiple DUI Offender Botches RiddleWhy is is that we park on driveways and repeatedly commit vehicular manslaughter on parkways?
Every guitar is an air guitar when you're deaf.
A lot of people make a big deal about the fact that 1/2 of marriages end in divorce. But I grimace more at the fact that the other half end in death.
Having a few beers and driving home after a long night can be deadly, which is why I do most of my drunk driving during the day. I blast the horn non-stop just for me though.
There's no use crying over spilled milk unless your tears are chocolate syrup.
Stand-up Comic Doesn't Understand Humor-"So, I got a gym membership a few months ago. I've been going four times a week, and I've never felt healthier!"
-"What is the deal with airline food? Does it come with the price of the plane ticket, or does it cost extra?"
-"I got married about a year ago. It was best decision I've ever made in my life."