Taco Bell I'm a stoner who has fallen into a routine of getting baked and scarfing a grande meal at 1 am.
Subway I'm fatter than holy hell, but under the delusion that eating this toasted footlong meatball sub with extra cheese and a large Coke is going to make me a lot healthier.
Wendy's I'm a pedophile who is enticed by their innocent logo. I also enjoy bacon.
Sonic I love the nostalgic atmosphere of the drive-in. I have collections of baseball cards and Beanie Babies and wagon wheels, because I'm living in the past.
McDonald's I know that I'm fat, please just leave me and my Big Macs alone.
Burger King They have amusing commercials, and I appreciate the novelty of chicken fries.
Arby's They have terrible commercials and I hate roast beef, but I love putting myself in ironic situations.
KFC I'm black.
Tim Horton's I'm Canadian.
Hardee's I'm trying to watch my carbs, and nothing else.
Pizza Hut The town I live in doesn't have a pizzeria.
Quizno's I don't mind spending 10 dollars on a fast food sub, because I'm an arrogant bastard.
White Castle I saw it in a movie, it must be the tastiest thing EVER.
Domino's I live about a half hour away, so I get free pizza most of the time.
In-N-Out My friends bet me 10 bucks I couldn't finish an 8 × 8. I'm about to prove them right.
Baskin-Robbins I'm fat and I couldn't possibly care less.