Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

I have NO idea what to write for today's rant. Normally I have an idea by now and I just ramble on about a page and a half and people read it. However, today…well I am shot. I through around a few ideas earlier with a friend down the hall. I was supposed to write about driving styles through the races and to remark on how people drive. Although I do love, pointing out ridiculous stereotypes today is not the day for that.

Although I go against every black stereotype because I drive all up in that steering wheel.

Now I could write about my day today but then it would seem like I was on the view.

Wtf is with that show anyway? It is about 4 crazed, menopaused, drugged up women stuck in chairs on live TV. Pay attention children. That is what you call good TV. Especially that planet of a women Rosie O Donnell. She is a succubus. A lesbian succubus.

However, I love lesbians.

I am at a crossroads.

I could talk about my love for lesbians but that would basically have me speaking about the two really cool lesbians I know (I am not generalizing, I only know two). Then I would have to get all dirty and raunchy and I do not know if you people are ready for that.

Penis.

You did not see that coming? I could talk about that too. Gay? Nope. Not at all, I could talk about how it rules the male mind. HOWEVER, if I do talk about that then I will tick off the part of society where the vagina reigns queen over its vassals and slaves.

P.S I named them Kuta and Kente. If you get this then we are on the same page.

I could also talk about how NO one takes me seriously. No kidding. I have become that boy that cries wolf. I wrote a serious rant on the N-word and people said it was the funniest rant they have ever read.

I have a dream was the funniest thing I have ever read.

I could talk about how cynical and how sarcastic I am but that would make people either –
a. Jealous
b. Angry
c. Sexually Aroused
I like to go for all three.

The one GREAT thing about my rants IN MY PERSONAL OPINION

I like to toot my own horn.

Is my quality of writing. I mean, damn, I am like a black J.K Rowling – except I am not a meth-head.

Ouch too soon?