Every man, and some women, know a thing or two about masturbation. If you don't have a woman to shoot your love mayonaisse into you need other, more efficient methods of cleanup that get you on your way faster.

So here's some options for cleanup:

1)Socks
Socks are a simple, yet effective choice of cleanup. Put the tip of your weiner and shoot, tuck away in draw, go about your day.

2)Tissues
Tissues can be a problem if your parents/roommates actually need to use them. Avoid cold and flu season.

3)History textbook
Let's face it, you're not going to get much more use from it. Just plop it open, finish yourself off, then slam it closed. For added hilarity, sell it back to the bookstore.

4)The Shower
Minus clogging the shower drains with semen it's also the easiest way to avoid getting caught.

5)Your mouth
The best way to masturbate to minimize mess is by having your legs against the wall, and your butt a little higher then where the wall meets the floor, maybe even a little bit higher if need be. This way, the angle you are at allows you to shoot it right into your mouth, thus easing cleanup.