Ethan: You know what's happening in these NBA playoffs? Amazing. That's what's happening. What's your favorite series so far?
Amir: Toronto/Orlando obviously.
Amir: I'm most interested in that one because I'm a Lakers fan, but I wouldn't say it's better than watching LeBron get beaten up, or the Suns choking over and over. Those are also great to watch.
Ethan: I like that the NBA didn't see a need to suspend Brendan Haywood for murdering LeBron. Maybe if he'd brought a knife or something, they'd have fined him a little more.
Amir: Are the Wizards the most delusional team in the NBA?
Ethan: It's almost cute how they think they're good. Blow on that hand, DeShawn Stevenson! You're on fire, son!
Amir: He's heating up! I love the Wizards. If you can't beat 'em beat 'em! But the Suns are pretty delusional too. Check out this actual quote from Steve Nash: "We had beaten them [two] straight times, now they've beaten us twice; it just happens to be in the playoffs,"
Ethan: He then added, "Anyhoo, these series are still best-of-nine, right? So no big deal."
Amir: Regular season, Post-season. It's all the same! Right, Suns fans?
Ethan: Dallas fans must be thanking God the Mavs traded for Jason Kidd without his lockdown D, Chris Paul would be averaging 90 points and 50 assists a game. That series would be over!
Amir: Is it weird that Jason Kidd has a WWDevinHarrisD tattoo?
Ethan: No weirder than seeing Ryan Bowen clomp around the floor for the Hornets. It's odd to see an NBA player who reminds me of my own hoops game: a lumbering white guy who looks terrified he's going to be forced to shoot. How many more games are the Suns going to choke away? Just two?
Amir: It's hard to tell
up until the third quarter in Game 2, the Suns looked like the better team. I would rather see the Spurs win just because I want to see Shaq keep justifying these losses. There's always a reason the Suns lost, and it's never him.
Ethan: I like that at this point, the announcers treat Shaq like the fat kind on a little league team. Anything remotely positive he does is call for major praise. He had nine and three last night as the first half was winding down, and they were acting like he already had a triple double. "Way to go, Champ! We're taking you for pizza after the game!"
Amir: He's this seasons MPP: Most Pitied Player. Because $20Million isn't big enough of a consolation prize.
Ethan: I hope that series goes seven, simply so we can see the Suns play more games. I still can't fathom how someone as big and fast as Amare can't even play something resembling defense. Even Shawn Bradley could do that. How would you explain Jake Long's contract to someone who doesn't know anything about football?
Ethan: How far is Darren McFadden going to drop because of his character concerns? Sure, he's got a few kids, but it's not like he has weekend custody. And if he ever gets it, I'm sure the little tykes could be extra lead blockers for him.
Amir: Forget character concerns, after seeing Adrian Peterson last year I would think GM's would be salivating over McFadden. Most of them already have a Chester Taylor to call their very own, they can complete the committee!
Ethan: I don't even know if character concerns exist in the NFL. The Vikings just traded three good draft picks for Jared Allen and gave him a huge extension. His only hobby is driving drunk, and he's really, really passionate about it. Are you going to watch the draft, or does it move too slowly?
Amir: The NFL Draft is a marathon, not a sprint. It's going to take ten minutes for the Dolphins to make a selection we already know about. I'll just wait the two days and then complain about who my favorite team drafted. Easy as pie! Speaking of running backs, why even draft one when you got a league MVP on waivers! Make that claim!
Ethan: The Seahawks cut Shaun Alexander? Big deal. My fantasy team already did that last year. And we knew better than to pick up Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett to take his spot. The contract the Seahawks gave Alexander a couple of years back is looking almost as bad as Barry Zito's. Wait, no, that's physically impossible. He lost again last night.
Amir: It's good to CC everybody else in baseball break out of their slump, though.
Ethan: You'd have trouble pitching, too, if you'd eaten most of Asdrubal Cabrera's leg before your last start. All the Indians had to do to get Sabathia that first win was give him 15 runs of support and let him pitch against the Royals. It's so simple that I can't believe they hadn't tried it before.
Amir: Can't we get through one segment about CC Sabathia without you mentioning him eating somebody?
Ethan: Only when he stops eating people!
Amir: Quick, World Series prediction, but remember, if you get it wrong, I'll bring it up in October!
Ethan: Astros-Rangers. Call it a hunch. Also, how great is it that if you're in a one-game eligibility fantasy league, Pujols can play second base for you now. Granted, I'd never want a middle infielder with a balky elbow, but I can see how some people might.
Amir: I'll stick with Aaron Hill at second, thank you very much.
Ethan: Got an interesting fact for us this week?
Amir: This one is about Aaron's brother, Grant. Did you know he's never made it out of the first round of the NBA Playoffs?
Ethan: He used up all of his good luck on that one throw to Christian Laettner. Plus, drinking all that Sprite couldn't have helped him perform.
Amir: Grant Hill drinks Sprite?
Ethan: Until next week, get excited for the Flyers in the second round
Amir and Ethan blah blah blah StraightCashHomey.net blah blah.