(Dan is sitting at his desk staring at a blank word document. It is 3am and he has a HUGE paper due that very morning. To rationalize his procrastination, Dan's schizophrenia gives personalities to the objects in the room!! And let me tell you, they think that homework is a BAD IDEA!)
Dan: Oh man. What am I going to do? I'm never going to become a successful I-banker if I don't ace this paper on the history of method acting! Maybe I should just drop out of school tonight. Ugh, well I should really be writing this paper, so I might as well get started
Chips&Salsa: You sure you wanna do that ese?!
Dan: Who said that?
Chips&Salsa: The mouse under your desk.
Dan: (looking at the mouse) You can talk?!
Chips&Salsa: Nah, I'm just f*cking with you it's Chips&Salsa homes! What up?
Dan: Oh hey Chips&Salsa, you scared me I thought that mouse was talking, and THAT woulda been WEIRD! HAHA! So what's new?
Chips&Salsa: We're lonely don't you think you should EAT US?!?!?!
Dan: Well, it does sound more fun than this paper
Youtube.com: HOLD UP YOU SHOULD SPEND YOUR TIME WITH ME BECAUSE I'M FUNNY!!!! SEE? HAHA CHRIS CROCKER IS AWESOME RIGHT?!!!! WATCH ME WATCH ME WATCH ME I NEED ATTENTION AND FRIENDS
Dan: Wow Youtube.com, you sure are great.
Perezhilton.com: You sure about that Dan? Because I heard that Youtube.com is f*cking your girlfriend, and I am NOT lying. I like boys.
Dan: Oh geez! Not Jennifer! What should I do?
ebaumsworld.com: If you kill her, I'll tape it
Dan: But I love her just yesterday she gave me a card in the shape of a catcher's mitt that said "I Glove You" THAT'S SO CUTE she's so clever she should really do improv
ebaumsworld.com: I'm telling you man stick a pen through her eye and you'll get a digg or two
Youtube.com: YOU ARE SICK YOU ARE SICK YOU ARE SICK SICK SICK!!!
Youporn.com:You think that's sick? You gotta check out this hungarian chick oh my GOD! Hey Dan, you didn't watch all of today's new vids first time in months you feeling okay?
Dan: Oh, yea I'm fine, I've just been really busy all day with this paper oh no, I really have to write this paper!
Party: F*ck that sh*t! You need to come out here and Van Helsing these sl*ts
WE'RE GETTIN DRUNKKKK!!
Dan: Party, how are you talking? You're not an object more of a concept or event
Party: I know that's what makes me even more intriguing COME ON GET WASTED!!!
Youporn.com: Oh yea yea YEA F MY P!!!
Dan: Okay, well I guess I'll just go to the party then!
ebaumsworld.com: Remember if you're gonna date rape anyone, turn the camera on first
Mouse under desk: Go get'm kid
Chips&Salsa: Wow, he CAN talk!!!
Perezhilton.com: OMG I HATE MICE! EEEK!
Everyone: Haha good times!
Facebook.com: STATUS:OWWWWW EBAUMSWORLD.COM JUST STABBED ME IN THE EYE!!!ebaumsworld.com: Gotcha