Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
April 29, 2008
I love my roommates, so they all get limericks YAY!
Roommate #1: Dallas
Da' las person you slept with got warts,
As soon as she took off her shorts.
So next time you're gonna tap it,
Make sure that you wrap it,
Or you'll get kicked if Debbie plays sports.
Roommate #2: Sean
Sean's a black politician like Obama,
Who's cultured and appreciates Noh Drama.
But when he gets drunk,
His words find the funk,
And loudly he bellows "YO'
Roommate #3: Steve
Live as a Nugget,
Turn it off when you sleep? He says "fug it."
All night the game will beep,
fart in your sleep!
Why can't you leave the room and unplug it?!
Ex-Roommate #4: Paul
There's no class that Paul did not fail,
He wasn't smart enough to make it at Yale.
So he transferred to Harvard
Where speech is proper, not slur-urred
'Cause they drink sparkling water not ale.
Roommate #5: Ray
And then there's my good old friend Ray,
Who likes to call everyone "gay."
But it's his sexuality I questioned,
When he saw a hot dog and mentioned:
Roommate #6: Jon
Jon's shoes match his shirt he's got class.
Every Sunday he attends his Church Mass.
The man's free from all sin:
When playing 7 Minutes in Heaven,
He'll come out faster than Lance Bass.
Roommate #7: Will
Will bench presses each day to grow big,
Drinking protein shakes in one swig.
Though he's strong as a tree,
(And way taller than me)
I've heard that his branch is a twig.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.