This article was inspired by an article written here some months ago, but then happened to me in real life.
There is an attractive dark-skinned girl, probably Honduran, maybe Chilean. Actually, she could be Greek I guess. Could she be Jewish? Never mind. It's not important. Basically, she's hot and getting some juice in the dining hall and the following scene happens (in my mind).
Me: Are you sure you want that one? (smiles playfully)
Her: Yeah, (leaves mouth open just a second longer than normal) Why wouldn't I?
Me: Although a good choice, its about to overflow.
(juice machine wont stop pouring)
Me: Told you. (laughs in a I'm here to help' tone)
Her: (laughing and looking at me for help) Oh no what should I do?
Me: Hold on, I'll fix it. (I hit the machine like I'm the Fonz)
Her: wow, you're so smart and strong. You're not too old for me are you?
Me: Well, I've noticed your pretty face around here for a few years, so I'd say no.
Her: I just wish I could find guys like you who know where they are going in life and aren't so nerdy.
Me: We can't all be so fortunate.
Her: Take me now!
Me: Maybe later.
I walk away break dancing and smoking a cigarette. Her panties are so wet that girls even walking by have an orgasm by proximity.
Here's what really happened.
Me: Are you gonna drink that?
Her: (looks creeped already) Um, why, should I not? What did you do to it?
Me: Well, it's about to overflow. Waste not, want no ma lady.
Her: How do you know that? Do you work here?
(machine starts to overflow)
Me: (laughs manically) Told you so!
Her: Crap, I'm late for class. This is a mess.
Me: Let me go get some help. (I spend 15 minutes trying to find some staff)
Me: (coming back with a mop I found in the corner) Let me get that for you. You have a pretty face.
Her: (accusingly) What? How old are you? (I finish mopping as she watches confused.)
Me: So check you lata
I walk away and knock over half a stack of napkins and trays. I throw a peace sign to the card swiper guy, who returns by flicking me off.