Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
If the Real World Used Textbook Buy-Back Policies
May 1, 2008
I'll give you $5,000 for it.
Are you crazy? I just paid $100,000 for it in January. Haven't you heard of value appreciation?
All I'm hearing is that your house is used.
Hardly. I spent like 2 days there in March and then 6 hours yesterday. This house is in perfect condition.
Oh yeah, what's this note above the backdoor?
It says, "Low door. Mind your head."
Low door, huh?
Yeah, but that's not a problem. It's just a feature of the house. It's supposed to be like that. That's just a helpful note in case people didn't notice the height of the door.
It sullies the whole house. The whole house is crap because of that note!
What are you talking about? This isn't even a pretty house.
So you admit it!
Yeah. It's a stupid looking house on a boring block, but people still want to buy it. Haven't you heard of supply and demand?
Nope. And I'm not going to give you more than $5,000 for this dump. That's just policy.
What are you talking about? What policy?
Well, maybe I won't sell it to you. Who knows, I might need this house in the future. It's got pretty cool faucets. I might want to use those. Ugh, fine. Give me the stupid 5 grand.
Great doing business with you.
Attention, all prospective buyers! Who wants to buy this fantastic, mint-condition home for $90,000?
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.