May 5th
Dear Diary,
I just picked up my cousin at the harbor and I let him drive my car home. I don't know why I did that, considering he just arrived in America and he has no idea where anything is. He is an awful driver by the way diary, I mean, he killed 3 pedestrians in attempt to drift through a turn, he took out at least 5 street lights which detach from the ground surprisingly easy, by the way. Then he parked the car on the sidewalk and then get this, he starts just walking against the hood. It was weird. Its like he was trying to walk through the hood of the car and he was doing a weird ghost walk.

Something may be wrong with my cousin,
Roman


May 7th,
Dear Diary,
Today my cousin picked me up in a corvette. Where the hell did he get a corvette? Well that doesn't matter now because on the drive to the strip club he smashed it so bad and it exploded. He didn't care though. He then went up to this man that I don't think he knew and threw this man right out of his car. He then entered this man's car and I followed him in, presuming it was a joke. He then went in reverse and backed over his friend and then ran him over again. Then the weirdest thing happened. Green glowing huge wads of cash appeared next to his body. My cousin got out of the car and grabbed these and it ended up only being 26 dollars. Very strange. Anyway we got kicked out of the strip club because he punched one of the strippers in the face and then took out a gun and shot everyone inside. He has a very strange temper.

Something is definitely wrong with my cousin,
Roman


May 10th
Dear Diary,
My cousin came to pick me up today and hit me with the car and now I'm in the hospital. He didn't even care that he hit me, he just drove away. By the way, he was in a bus.

What have I brought to America?
Roman


May 13th
Dear Diary,
Why did I call him to pick me up from the hospital? On the drive home, (in a police car, where did he get a police car?) he was driving about 160 and we drove straight into a barrier that was surprisingly strong and we were ejected through the windshield. He then got up, got back in the car, and ran me over. Then he drove away.

Hospitalized and scared for my life,
Roman