A hive of bees is alive and bustling. A human approaches, and is noticed by one of the bees, who turns to the swarm in a panic.


Bee #1: Fellow bees, look! The giant approaches!

(an audible gasp is heard across the swarm, as they freeze and stare at the shadowy figure in terror)

Bee #2: We must act quickly before it strikes!

Bee #3: This is the day we've all been training for! You know the drill. To your battle stati-

(he is distracted by a single bee in the midst of the swarm, tentatively raising his hand)

Bee #3 contd: Yes, Harold?

Harold: Um, yes, hi. Sorry to interrupt your speech, but don't you think this is a little…dumb?

(the swarm pauses despite their panic, shocked by Harold's audacity)

Bee #3: What is the meaning of this, Harold?

Harold: I mean…the giant doesn't seem on the offensive. It just appears to be leaking from some odd frontal protrusion.

(the swarm glances over to the human, who is drunkenly peeing in a nearby bush)

Bee #1: Can't you see? This is all part of the giant's plan. The minute we let our guard down – BAM! It will strike with all its might.

Harold: I just can't imagine that this giant would be after our small store of pollen.

Bee #2: (laughs) Oh Harold, how innocent you are. Of COURSE it is after our pollen, why wouldn't it be?

Harold: Um, ok. So let's say you are right, and it IS after our pollen.

Bee #3: Excellent, now warm up your butt swords, men! This is war!

Harold: Oooh, see, that's another issue I have with this plan.

Bee #1: What now, Harold?

Harold: So, we stab the giant with our butt swords, and then what?

Bee #2: Then we rejoice in triumph!

(the swarm cheers)

Harold: Yeaaah about that. Last week Tom accidentally stabbed a mushroom and when he went to fly away the sword got stuck and all his insides came out.

(the swarm stops cheering immediately and turns to stare at Bee #3 in horror. Bee #2491 throws up.)

Bee #3: (nervously laughing) Hahah…hah…whaaat? No, he's just kidding, guys.

Harold: Even if I was, our butt swords aren't going to do anything. The giant is like 3000 times the size of us.

Bee #1: (starts sobbing) We are all going to die!

Bee #3: (slaps Bee #1) Pull yourself together, Charles, he's lying! Watch!

(Bee #3 stings a nearby mushroom without hesitation, and turns to smile at the rest of the swarm)

Bee #3: See? I'm fine!

(the swarm is relieved and cheers again, with a renewed vigor. Satisfied, Bee #3 pulls away from the mushroom and his insides promptly fall out. The swarm freezes in terror, staring at his empty shell of a body for a second before collectively screaming at the top of their tiny bee lungs. In their horrified panic, they swarm out of control towards the human, stinging and dying until they are all gone. Only Harold remains.)

Harold: So. THAT did not go well.