Original music by this sick new band my brother's in.

Senior Superlatives at San Dimas High
- Most Likely to Marry Medieval Princesses
- Most Likely to Save the World With Rock and Roll
- Most Excellent
I wish I lived in Alabama so my state was at the top of drop down menus. No other reason.
I recently tried Trident whitening gum. That sh*t is powerful. Immediately after chewing I bought all 11 seasons of Frasier on DVD.
Porno Pizzeria Policy
Thirty minutes or less or you don't have to blow the delivery driver.
Lord of the Rings in One Minute
Gandalf: You must destroy the one ring of power.
Frodo: How?
Gandalf: I'll summon my eagle friend. He'll fly you over Mt. Doom and you can throw in the ring.
Frodo: Thanks!
They say Hillary is the candidate of beer drinkers and Obama is the candidate of wine drinkers. I like both candidates a lot. I can't remember why.
Questions Questions Questions
- Why do people drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
- Why is it called luggage on an airplane, and planeage on an airlug?
- Why is it when you fix a house it's called landscaping, but when you house a fix its land callscaping?
Fun To Use When You Don't Need Them, Terrible To Use When You Do
- Adderall
- Wheelchairs
- Guns