My BF's Penis: Hello boys. Thank you all for being here today. By a raise of shafts who here is new? Okay, good! Welcome. And how many 3-6 month relationshipers do we have with us? Good! Keep at it, it's good you're here now. And what about a year or more…? Great. Kudos to you all.

Okay, first off, I know what you're all going through. I'm going on two years and three months. Some days are awesome and others, man, it's an uphill battle. But you gotta keep your eye on the PRIZE. You gotta FOCUS.

Have her techniques and tricks gotten old? YES! Have her choke holds and thrusts become more and more predictable? HELL YES! But here's the thing fellas: he loves her and he's not going anywhere, so we have to keep on keeping on!

Last week I had a particularly hard morning. Well, difficult I should say. She climbed on top and well…morning breath…it effected me in a negative way. And her legs were a bit stubbly. And God damnitt those same lips, that same hair style, I was bored to tears! Needless to say, it was a challenge. Not to mention the fact that she kept talking. The sound of her voice pulls me out of my "picking up Charlize Theron as a horny hitchhiker" fantasy every time. But did I roll over and play dead? No! I met the challenge head on! Because guess what fellas? We're not gonna have a fling with that slutty-looking redhead he works with- no matter how much we beg and plead. We're not gonna go home with anymore experimental hipster chicks. And we're not getting back together with that Asian chick with the Liv Tyler mouth. So buck up, THIS is IT!

Jim: This is bullshit! I'm a warrior! I need to change it up! I need to shoot it in as many baskets as I can! I can't take this anymore! (sobbing)

My BF's Penis: There, there, Jim it's gonna be okay. Tom, get out of the gonorrhea pics that Brain brought and pass them around. Okay, it's sharing time. Craig has the floor. Listen up people.

Craig: Hello everybody my name is Craig and I'm going on 8 months now.

Everybody: Hi Craig.

Craig: I was actually doing pretty well up until last week. I went to take a leak and before my first drops hit the water, I spotted a floater…that wasn't mine.

Steve: I hear ya ,Craig.

Ryan: Been there man!

Craig: It was just remnants…but….and I've been trying to look at that ass the same way I used to, but I just can't.

My BF's Penis: Thank you for sharing, Craig. I applaud your bravery. You'll get though this. Fortunately, I have no floater experiences, but I do remember the first time I heard and smelled her fart, saw her pop a zit, and use one of those devices to shave the dead skin off her feet. Each time I said to myself, I'm never gonna be able to shift into full gear again. But you know what, people? The NEXT day I had a bulge that could fill the Incredible Hulk's jockeys! You can do it!

So men, what are we going to do?!

Fuck the same woman we've been fucking.

My BF's Penis: And when are we going to do it?!

Everybody: NOW!

My BF's Penis: Good work!! Now go out there and please that girl you know so well. Don't be afraid to get dirty!

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