This is your last chance here, gentlemen. That girl from your floor whom you thought was kind of weird until you saw her in a towel and reconsidered? She can still be yours.


There are a few standard ways to start to charm her: if you've got some upper-body strength, help her with boxes. If you're tall, help her with posters. If you're a short, pathetic weakling, supply the Goo-Gone. You know, work what genetics/a trip to the hardware store gave you.

But, just knocking on her door and offering to help is not exactly subtle, so what you're going to want to do is dip your head into her room and ask if she has something she almost definitely won't have for you to borrow (i.e. a wrench or a squeegee). Once she says no, you are free to casually come to her aid in one of the previously mentioned ways.

While you're helping, flirt. (Duh.) If you don't know how to do that (jeez), here's an obvious suggestion: make fun of her. (Yes, college really is just a less educational version of 2nd grade.) Don't be, like, mean mean, but pick on her enough to elicit a little embarrassed laughter. Because she's laughing, she'll start to think you're funny even though all you did was make fun of her for owning "The Cutting Edge" on VHS.

Now that she thinks you're a helpful, funny, sort of mean guy, you can try to get her to stop packing. How do you do that? Well, you can be creative about this, but I would advise the drink-all-the-beer-left-in-my-mini-fridge/do-a-legendary-campus-activity-that- you've-never-gotten-around-to-doing combo. This easily translates into the perfect drunk, impromptu date that your girl has been waiting for all year.

Just don't throw up or let her yuck-fest roommate tag along and you'll be golden.

Until her dad shows up to drive her home.