-I walked forward and made the rest of the tour group walk backwards.



-I ended too many of my sentences with "if you like diarrhea!"

Examples:

The food is ok…

The showers in the dorms are pretty nice…


-I highlighted the fact that black people have only been allowed to enroll here for 20% of the schools existence.


-"Our school has relatively low instances of date rape!"


-"The dorms are 100% dry, unless you have a backpack."


-I explained that Greek Life used to be good here, but like real Greece, it became over run with pushy Italians.