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Time heals all wounds . . . except amputations.
Nice to Chant at Re-Election Party, Mean to Yell at Birthday Party
"Four more years!"
Real Movie Titles That Would Probably Make For Terrible Pornos
- James and the Giant Peach
- The Fast and the Furious
- Exit Wounds
My friend grew up Asian, so he says that's why he isn't into Asian girls. I think that makes a lot of sense, because I grew up fat…
Do you think it's rude for deaf people to talk with food in there hands?
Danny C
Rich or Alzheimer's?
- You know, I can't remember the last time I spent less than 50 dollars on a meal? That includes breakfast.
- Does public transportation even exist anymore?
- Are you my wife?
If I was a ref at a Harlem Globetrotters game, I would call them for traveling, then throw them out if they argued, then steal some kid's popcorn.
Blind Date Revealed
"Ok, so I lied. In all honesty, I prefer moderately lengthed walks on the beach. So we're gonna have to turn around and walk back well before I get tired."
Matt Vita