Remember way back when, when I tried to convince two girls in a bar to masturbate?

Good times!

Well since it's still May and therefore still National Masturbation month, (Yay! I hope you guys have been celebrating!!) and since this is still a sex themed column, I thought I'd contact the girls and let you guys know how they, and their untouched girl-parts, are doing.

So I pulled out my rolodex (totally better than a BlackBerry) from 2006 to see if I still had their info…


…and sent them an e-mail a couple weeks ago.

Hey Girls,

It's Mindy Raf, that girl you met at that bar in NYC in 2006 that tried to convince you to masturbate. Wow, it's been awhile. Did you get the link I sent you to the column I wrote about you? I never heard back from you guys. Anyway, since it's National Masturbation Month I just wanted to check in and see if you both decided to make pleasuring yourself a part of your life. Happy NMM!

Best to you and yours,


I never heard back from them. I was upset. I mean here I was taking time out of my day to check in on two young women who I had singlehandedly, (maybe that's the wrong word to use) made healthier and happier people, and they were snubbing me! They were ruining my plan to "publish the results of my talk with the non-masturbating girls sometime during the month of May!"

So I decided to become a full fledged stalker and contact them via AIM:

Okay I never IM'd them, that's just creepy, but I'm sure that's how the conversations would have gone.

Now if you'll excuse, I'm about to go blind.