Answer Yes or No to the following questions. Keep track of your "Yes's" to see just how hood your campus is.


1. Do you actually know more people that have been robbed/mugged than arrested?

2. Do you know one or more homeless people by name/nickname?

3. Is a Chevy Cutlass/Caprice/Impala a more common sight on your campus than a Jeep/Range Rover/Jetta?

4. Do spoiled, rich, white girls actually attend your school?

5. Has someone ever told you their car ran out of gas just down the street, and that they just need a couple dollars for gas, so they can pick their kids/mother/grandmother up from day care/work/nursing home, by the same person, at the same gas station, two or more times in the same week?

6. Have you ever been a first-hand witness to a scene that was comparable to the following?



7. When your friends visit you at school, do they have to call their parents to let them they are safe before going to bed?

8. Do you live closer to a prison than a corn/wheat/tobacco farm?

9. Has a man who smelled strongly of garbage/urine/fisces ever spit in your, or someone you know's, general direction?

And Finally,

10. Have you ever witnessed an argument/fight/stabbing over a monetary value of less than one dollar?

Bonus Question
Has someone ever attempted to charge you money for watching your bike/helping you park your car/giving you directions?

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The Results (count your "Yes's"):

*An answer of "No" to Question 4 equals a "Yes" on the survey.

Less than 3: Your town is far from hood. Don't worry about locking your car doors, your stuff is safe. I would guess you could probably pass out in a gutter somewhere and wake up with your wallet still in your pocket. Have fun being sheltered your whole life.


3-6:  Your school is moderately dangerous. I would definitely lock your bike before going to get your groceries. Still, you will probably go through your entire college career without being the victim of a major crime. Your neighborhood is like Guns n' Roses. It may seem dangerous upon first consideration, but you will soon realize its really pretty tame.


7-9: Wow. Be careful when leaving your house at night. It would not be a bad idea to invest in a taser, or at least a strong can of pepper spray for your safety. Don't feel guilty if you lock your doors and roll up your windows when driving in certain parts of your neighborhood. Your town might worry your parents, but look on the bright side. The police have more important things to do than arrest you for being drunk in public.


10-11: You live in Detroit. Good Luck.