Craig Elton starts his first day as a substitute teacher.


10:22 a.m. Class slowly files in

Substitute Teacher: Ok Craig, just relax, thier only high school kids. You remember high school right? At least 50% of them are borderline retarded, you'll be fine



10:30 a.m. Class begins

ST: Ok just say your name and what you'll be covering in today's class and you can move on from the…holy shit look this size of those knockers. STOP. FOCUS!

10:31 a.m

ST: 1 minute in and you're already taking a bathroom break? For God's sake SHE HAS A BACK BRACE! Get back in there!

10:50 a.m

ST: Finally, I've settled things downs and everythings running smoothly, textbooks are open, pens are writing, and what the bloody hell is on the kids nose?! No way is that a pimple! It's the same size as his nose! Should I call the nurse?

10:51 a.m

ST: Note: Do not recommend oxyclean to a student in front of the whole class. He/She will cry.

11:00 a.m. (a student walks in late)

ST: Whoa, whats this? He's a half hour late! Wait, is it ok to be late for class in high school or was that just in college? Is this guy even a student? He has a beard and a tatoo of a swastika on his back. Wait, he's not even wearing a shirt! I should say something

11:02 a.m.

ST: Note: The neo-nazi rebel alliance will be at my house and ready to attack by 7:00, I should be packed and ready to go by 6:30.
     Note 1a: Do not start car.

     Note 2: Download that new Chris Brown track as soon as i get home. So chill. 

11:15 a.m.

ST: That assignment i gave out is working out perfectly! They should be done by the end of class and i can go home and enjoy a….oh crap she's coming up here. Fix your tie! Move your papers! Shit I'm not ready for this…i shouldn't of made that last question so hard! Thats what she said. FOCUS! Be smooth Elton!

11:15 p.m.  In a holding cell at the local precinct

ST: I knew i shouldn't of worn sweatpants



- Rahul