Craig Elton starts his first day as a substitute teacher.
10:22 a.m. Class slowly files in
Substitute Teacher: Ok Craig, just relax, thier only high school kids. You remember high school right? At least 50% of them are borderline retarded, you'll be fine
10:30 a.m. Class begins
ST: Ok just say your name and what you'll be covering in today's class and you can move on from the holy shit look this size of those knockers. STOP. FOCUS!
ST: 1 minute in and you're already taking a bathroom break? For God's sake SHE HAS A BACK BRACE! Get back in there!
ST: Finally, I've settled things downs and everythings running smoothly, textbooks are open, pens are writing, and what the bloody hell is on the kids nose?! No way is that a pimple! It's the same size as his nose! Should I call the nurse?
ST: Note: Do not recommend oxyclean to a student in front of the whole class. He/She will cry.
11:00 a.m. (a student walks in late)
ST: Whoa, whats this? He's a half hour late! Wait, is it ok to be late for class in high school or was that just in college? Is this guy even a student? He has a beard and a tatoo of a swastika on his back. Wait, he's not even wearing a shirt! I should say something
ST: Note: The neo-nazi rebel alliance will be at my house and ready to attack by 7:00, I should be packed and ready to go by 6:30.
Note 1a: Do not start car.
Note 2: Download that new Chris Brown track as soon as i get home. So chill.
ST: That assignment i gave out is working out perfectly! They should be done by the end of class and i can go home and enjoy a .oh crap she's coming up here. Fix your tie! Move your papers! Shit I'm not ready for this i shouldn't of made that last question so hard! Thats what she said. FOCUS! Be smooth Elton!
11:15 p.m. In a holding cell at the local precinct
ST: I knew i shouldn't of worn sweatpants