Writing AND jokes? Now that's what I call a triple play!
TV Shows Double Amputees May Find OffensiveTwo and a Half Men
So You Think You Can Dance
Last Comic Standing
How Many Electricians Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?Two.
One to screw in the light bulb, and the other to criticize him for demeaning their profession.
Modernized Classics- The Selected Gmails of Mark Twain
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Fireside Podcasts
Well Educated Gangsters"Yo that mother f*cker has got a serious Oedipus complex."
Expressions That Were Used Literally to My Obese Ex-Girlfriend-Don't rock the boat
-I'll cross the bridge once I come to it
-Don't Bite the Hand that feeds you
-Don't try to walk before you can crawl
Worst Parents EverBuy you Bugles, then tell you not to play with your food.
Clever Rap Line for Stupid Rappers- "Playin' hard to get like her name was Dr. Seuss."
- "You can count on me like I'm your fingers."
- "Chewin' on DVD's like I thought they were Baked Lays, I only drink on Tays that end with Zondays."
Jerry Seinfeld goes insane- "What's the deal with airplane food? They don't serve it on airplanes and it's not food!"
Movie Do's and Don'ts- Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. Do the right thing.
- Don't mess with the Zohan. Do America (with Beavis and Butt-Head).
- Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. Do, where's my car?
Now that Memorial Day is over I can go back to honoring the troops the way I normally do, by NOT embezzling money from veterans' fund raisers.