Oddjob
Ok, you like to kneel down with the shortest character in the game and then shoot people in the legs with an RCP90. Congratulations on 100 kills and 0 deaths, which is coincidentally also your Eminem posters to friends ratio.



Natalya
Being a guy playing a girl video game character has never been funny. Please stop talking about how you wish Super Smash Bros. had Dixie Kong.



Alec Trevelyan
Backstabber! You have no moral compass. Everyone hates you because you hide in that secret closet in the Complex level. That's not the point of the game, man.



Jaws
Stop yelling "Mama sita!" every time you kill Natalya.




Valentin
Clearly another humorous character selection. Being the fat guy isn't so funny when I can kill you at sniper range with a throwing knife, is it?



James Bond
This is probably your first time playing. Enjoy trying to karate chop people to death!