The next best thing to tickling.

I think the government should give delicious meat coats to the homeless next winter. No one should have to be cold and hungry. They should be able to choose their fate.
Similarities Between Prison Inmates and The Kids I Babysit
1. Regulated schedules for eating, sleeping, and free time.
2. People are paid to watch over them.
3. They save piss in a container to throw in my face.
Fat Person Oxymoron
Extra Bacon

Women's Rights Rally Pick Up Line
Once you're done standing for women's rights feel free to sit on my face.
What Asians really mean by their peace signs.
No more nukes! Two's enough!
Depressing Riddle
-Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
-So their bodies can be easily found and brought back to loved ones if they are caught in a fire.
What Bill Gates tells his doctor when he feels sick:

"I don't know doctor, I feel like a million bucks."