If you're anything like me, you hated High nSchool. Also, if you're anything like me, you really enjoy a good slab of ribs. nBut that's besides the point.

Thing is, a lot of people fucking hated nHigh School, and a lot of people are stuck in their town for the summer. For nthose people, I created the following list.

Oh and PS: if you were nomgsopopular in high school, gtfo. Seriously, bitches. I hate you.


So nhere's the guide. And remember, it wasn't you, it was them. Your High School nsucked.


1. When In Doubt, You Hate nThem 
In the classic case of some Random Randy/Rhonda (by the nway, never name your kid Rhonda) comes up to you, just assume you hated them in nHigh School. Should you spot them beforehand, figure they're a douche and find a nway to dodge them. Quick- they're coming!br>
2. Make Good Use of nYour Cell Phone
You know that old, "wait I have a phone call" gag? nYeah. Use it. Be permanently on the phone. If you happen to see an ex of yours, nwho is probably a psycho, because that's just your luck, slip the phrase n"syphillis" into your call.

3. Make Good Use of Your nCar
Fuck being local. Drive as out of the way as possible, even if nit means a 20 minute drive to get to McDonald's. br>
4. Be a nHermit
Spend your time the same way my creepy uncle does. Sit in nyour room all day and be on the internet. Oh, wait, you already do that. Okay, nwell keep doing that. And remember- your mom can get her own damn ngroceries.

5. Optional: Pretend You're in Middle nSchool
No, this doesn't mean looking at your genitals and tracking nyour first pubic hairs. This means pranking. Get the old Yellow Pages out nand prank call the shit out of people. Or knock down their mailboxes. I don't ncare, be creative. Oh, and should your creativity steer you to murder, remember nto have an alibi. ***
 


*Note: Should this person have gotten nfat, ignore what I just said. Find out their name and:
A. Make subtle nstabs at their weight
B. Write mean things in their Honesty nBox  


*Unless you have a sublimely hot person of the nopposite sex with you. I don't care if it's your cousin who you secretly lust nafter, your neighbor, your hostage- show them off.


* Reading this narticle is not a good alibi.