-Stop licking me you neanderthal, I just put lotion on

-Why do you have to come in the bathroom when I'm in the shower?

-Why is the toilet seat wet? WHAT DID YOU DO?

-Ugh, quit drooling, you'll get a treat when I'm ready

-Gah! That's my asshole, stay out of there!!

-Go to sleep, I don't want to play right now.

-Stop humping the cat!

-Take my underwear out of your mouth.

-What are you DOING with my shoes?!

Thanks to Scottstra, Quailman, Katie, and TMurr.