Linda Hogan is dating a 19-year old dude who looks like her son, and the Hulk is dating a 20-something chick who looks like his daughter. Just another f*cked up day in Hollywood! Here's a quick recap of the week's best celebrity insanity. (DListed, CelebSlam)

Ashlee Simpson stepped out this week flaunting the best part of being pregnant – big boobs! Second best part? All the free stuff. Third is the baby. Oh wait, I forgot about those sweet jeans with the stretchy waistband. THEN the baby. (Egotastic)

And while we're on the subject, check out Halle Berry's gravity-defiers. Somewhere in heaven, Isaac Newton is sobbing over his sham of a life. (WWTDD)

Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen from Courtney Love this week, who kept them safe in a pink teddy bear. In other news, someone out there is officially crazier than Courtney Love. (Celebslam)

A video leaked this week of Amy Winehouse, cracked out and half naked, singing a racist children's song. Says her publicist, "sound of a hanging rope". (WWTDD)

A several-year-old video of Shia LaBeouf also leaked this week, in which he drunkenly calls his friend a 'faggot,'lets him slap him across the face, and then hugs him before taking shots of tequila. Otherwise known as 'college.' (IDLYITW)

Never Have I Ever gotten drunk. everybody drinks Never Have I Ever been so drunk that I had to be carried out of the 2008 Glamour 'Woman of the Year' party and had the whole affair chronicled by a dozen paparazzi who then posted the pictures all over the internet. a href="//[q]pk=7491 " mce_href="//[q]pk=7491 " target="_blank">only Lily Allen drinks (WWTDD)

George Clooney broke up with his girlfriend last week, after disapproving of her new breast implants. Apparently George skipped the day in Man Class 101 when they explained why boobs rule. (Celebslam)

Tatum O'Neal was arrested for buying crack this week, and then proceeded to blame the entire thing on grief over her recently deceased dog. When that excuse didn't work, she told officers that her computer crashed. (DListed)

According to the National Huge Assumptions Based On Almost Nothing Association, Paris Hilton is pregnant! (IDLYITW)

Kate Beckinsale and Megan Fox both admitted recently that they love having sex. Now go ice your dick because I'm sure that insta-boner caught you off guard. (Hollywood Tuna, Egotastic)

Jessica Alba had her baby! Thank God. Now back to more important things, like being hot. Don't worry so much about the whole 'being in movies' thing. (DListed)

Speaking of being hot, this is the exact opposite of that. Ex-Playboy model Shauna Sand drunkenly flashed her boobs this week, and, well, let's just say there IS such a thing as too much plastic surgery. WARNING: NSFEyes. (Egotastic)

And this week's 'Still Got It' honoree was a tough choice, but in the end, the award goes to Amy Winehouse. Still got it, girlfriend! (WWTDD)

PS. Yeah, I changed the name of the column. Big whoop.