Friend 1: Hey, did you guys hear about the liquor store on Main?
Friend 2: No, what happened?
GWRALSLN (a second after Friend 2): No, what happened?
Friend 3: Oh, I heard about that. Apparently some guy just ran in at like 10 last night in a ski mask and tried to hold them up.
Friend 2: Whoa, for real? I was there last night at like 9:45!
Friend 3: That's insane, man.
GWRALSLN: yeah, wow!
Friend 2 (to GWRALSLN): Dude, why are you surprised? I ran into you right outside there.
GWRALSLN: Oh, hah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I was just, uh, going in to the store, just picking up some brews, you know, to bring to the party. Gotta have that Miller Chill, right guys?
Friend 2: We didn't drink any beer at the party.
GWRALSLN: Um that's because I couldn't get any! I got carded. It was gayyy. Heh.
Friend 1: So were you there during the hold-up?
GWRALSLN: No, I guess the guy came in after I left.
Friend 3: Get thisI heard he used a pink Venus razor to scare the clerk.
Friend 2: What an idiot!
Friends 1 and 2 laugh.
GWRALSLN: Well, I don't know if I'd call him an idiot, per se I mean, maybe he was using his girlfriend's razor. In a way, it actually proves that he's more manly because he was probably staying at his girlfriend's place. I bet he's a pimp.
Friend 2: What are you talking about, man?
GWRALSLN: Nothing, forget it, let's talk about something else. Have you guys started your World Civ papers yet?
Friend 3: Nah. Oh man, but I also heard that the robber was wearing pink mittens!
GWRALSLN: Hey, my-his mom probably made him those!
Friend 2: Chill out, man.
Friend 3: And matching pink booties!
Friend 1: What a gaywad.
GWRALSLN pulls out his pink Venus razor.
GWRALSLN: Yeah, who wants to rumble now, huh?
Friends all laugh.
Friend 1: Oh no! "Somebody shave us!"
Friend 2: You must've been a really smooth criminal with those patented 5 blades!
Friend 3: Yeah, I bet after shaving you really cleaned up when you were "robbing the liquor store." Good one, man.
They exit. GWRALSLN sighs and wraps his razor in a hand-knitted bootie.