Left Hand: Here we go again.

Right Ball: Wait, what is he doing up there? Oh no…come on, he already did this like 2 hours ago.

Left Hand: Oh, he's going back at it, and of course, I just sit over here, watching the whole thing go down.

Left Ball: Shit, don't complain, every time he jerks it it looks like the god damn apocalypse from our view.

RB: Yeah, honestly. One moment we are enjoying the sun, then the next thing you know, that thing comes out of nowhere and puts us in the shade. It gets cold, you know?

LH: Have you thought about how lonely it gets for me? He doesn't even give me a chance. ONE TIME he had a broken right wrist and he tried to use me. So I didn't do that well, and maybe his junk has a weird right turn in it now, but I need practice dammit! He went and did the only smart thing I've ever seen him do. He made some molding cushion for his cast, and kept using that playboy Righty.

RB: True, that is kind of shitty. Man, he is really going at it right now, putting us in the blender down here. Makes me think of that fateful night a few years back. What kind of girl doesn't finish off a blowjob? When we got home, he beat the living shit out of us. Not to mention, we were already frozen blue

LB: All that flopping and flying. I think I got a concussion that night.

LH: A sad day indeed. At least you weren't there the other night when he got drunk enough to stick ME up that new girls ass. 2 of my fingers were soiled that night, they haven't said a word since. Righty was just sitting there, laughing from inside that cozy cave he often calls home.

LB: Why do I have to hang so damn low? The more he pulls, the more I keep moving closer to the taint. Swingin' in the breeze all alone down here.

LH: Great, I'm on the move now. Oh wow, he is changing the the video on the computer now.


LH: 1:20, still undressing, next. 3:48, blowjobs, I know he doesn't like that. 5:23, ah, dick going in, guess my work is done.

RB: WHOA, we are moving now! You know, when he first starting doing this, we loved it down here. All the movement, the bouncing, everything. But now, we are so sick of it, all of it.

LB: Why doesn't he get you into the action as well Lefty? Maybe it would feel like an orgy or something.

LH: He tried doubling up once, it didn't work. The fucked up thing is, sometimes, he uses me as some kind of jizz shield. Just there, hovering over his member, waiting for the big moment. You have no idea what this is like, it is like standing in front of a loaded gun, just waiting, not knowing what might happen, but then, BOOM, ghostly.

RB: Uh oh, I'm starting to choke…it is almost time!

LB: COUGH COUGH I'm gonna puke!



LB: You OK up there Lefty?

LH: Soaked.

RB: Bastard.

LH: Jesus, I'm on the move again. Oh no, not the ass check, not the damn ass check. Why is this always my job!


LH: NO, swamp ass! Oh god. Yup, bring me up to the nose. There ya go, you happy, it smells like shit – what did you expect? I see that little smile, you like it don't you. You sick jerk, think about me for once. Well, I guess it is off to the sink with me. But really, who knows, even that is 50/50. What are you guys up to later?

RB: Probably just sweating.

LH: Sounds good, I'll see you later.


Right Hand: I hate my life.