Jeff Goldblum: Well sir, I believe if we fly into the mothership, and upload a virus, we can effectively disable their shield for a matter of minutes and stage a massive, coordinated att-
Drunk Pilot Dude (Randy Quaid): Look, the ship is opening up to fire! I'm gonna fly my plane right into it and jam its firing mechanism like a kidney stone stuck in a dude's urethra! Despite my rampant alcoholism and lack of care for my children, I am entirely trustworthy for this mission!
Jeff Goldblum: That's preposterous, there's no way that this advanced alien race could possibly overlook such an obvious technological error, we mu-
Will Smith: Welcome to Earth, bitch!