Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Your Politicians, Translated
June 26, 2008
Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!
Once elected, I will immediately begin working for you.
Once elected, I will immediately begin working on getting re-elected.
I am constantly reminded of a single mother of four I met on the campaign trail.
I am constantly reminded by my campaign manager to mention poor people in my speeches.
My opponent is an elitist who is out of touch with the average American.
My opponent has a yacht that is 10 feet longer than mine.
Being born an American has given me opportunities most can never dream of.
Being born a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant has given me opportunities most can never dream of.
I can't thank you enough for your support.
I can't thank you enough for your money.
I approved this message.
Unless you didn't like it. Then I had nothing to do with it.
I'm going to fight for each and every one of you.
I'm going to generalize you all into one big group, then do whatever I want.
My faith is important to me.
My faith is as important to me as you want it to be.
Those words were taken out of context.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.