"It's the highlight of my week," said the world's worst father.

If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor
Dr. Seuss: I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock everywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer here today.
Patient: Are youÂ…high?
-Giancarlo Fiorentini
Teeth
Q: What's Red And Bad For Your Teeth
A: A Brick
-Patrick O'Connell
The Last Layers of Hell
4. The Fans of "Legally Blonde"
3. The Fans of "Legally Blonde 2"
2. The Fans of "Legally Blonde the
Musical"
1. The Fans of "Legally Blonde the
Musical: the Search for Elle Woods"
-Tanner Boyd
Stupid America
I just read that 60% of 8th graders only read at a 5th grade level. At that point isn't it just the eighth grade level?
-Luke Bell
Comic Book Movies That Would Be Better Than Another Edward Norton Hulk
-Commissioner Gordon: The Movie
-First Five Minutes of X-Men 2: The Movie
-Fire Extinguisher-Bot From Iron Man: The Movie
-Jeff Rubin
Swedish Drunks
-We were at this place yesterday that had 4 dollar pitchers!
-Wo, awesome! Where?
-IKEA. They also have 2 dollar cups and cheap futons. Uber chill!
-Amir Blumenfeld
The type of dog you have says a lot about your personality, especially if the dog is dead.
-Caldwell Tanner
Being White
Being white sucks. When we put metal stuff in our mouth we have to call them braces
-Josh Zurn