Officer Pat O'Hara, back with the GCPD after a 10-year absence, stares out the window of his cruiser as it makes its way downtown.
Officer O'Hara: Hey Michaels, what's the deal here?
Officer Michaels: Not sure what you mean.
O'Hara: You ever notice there's a lot less neon in Gotham than there used to be?
O'Hara: Yeah, remember that?
Michaels: Neon neon nope sure don't.
O'Hara: Oh come on. There used to be pink and purple lighting EVERYWHERE in this city. Floodlights, spotlights and all those big freakin' statues of naked guys standin' between the buildings? They're gone too.
Michaels: Naked statues nah, not ringin' any bells, pal.
O'Hara: You kiddin' me, Michaels? Seems like almost nightly we were down here, roundin' up gangs covered in day-glo face paint. Now look at the place. It's like someone swooped in and made it a lot less, I dunno stupid. Look, there's no blacklights hanging over the alleys anymore.
Michaels: You feelin' OK, O'Hara? You're not making any sense. Talking crazy tonight, heh.
O'Hara: I'm fine, Michaels. You're the one not making any sense. This was right after the city's little "gothic" phase, remember? Back when everything was kinda dark and twisted Mayor looked like a penguin? Stole a bunch of kids? One of them was your daughter?
Michaels: Hmm, someone needs to lay off the sauce, I think. Seriously, O'Hara, just drop it, OK?
Radio: Ksssh All units: Robbery underway at Gotham National Bank, Second Avenue and 36th. Suspect is described as a white male in his late twenties with a disfigured mouth and stringy, shoulder-length hair. Calls himself 'The Joker.' Ksssh
O'Hara: Um, I don't know who she's describing, but it's NOT the Joker. (Picks up the handset.) Shelley? You sure you don't mean a paunchy, middle-aged fella' with a weird voice and impossibly diagonal eyebrows? Listenin' to a buncha' Prince songs on a boom box, maybe?
Radio: Ksssh Nope. Definitely not.
Michaels: Don't listen to him, Shell. O'Hara's off his rocker tonight. Hey, there's the Batmobile! We can follow it to the scene.
O'Hara: Michaels, that thing in front of us is clearly some kind of tank. The Batmobile's an over-decorated piece of plastic with four-foot fins in the back.
Michaels: O'HARA, ENOUGH! (Pulls over, cuts off radio.) Look, man, I know you spent the past few years with the Metropolis PD, but now that you're back in Gotham you've gotta understand We just don't talk about stuff like that anymore.
O'Hara: Why not?
Michaels: A little piece of legislation they passed after Mr. Freeze attacked the city. They called it the "Let's All Pretend That Stupid Shit That Just Happened Never Happened Act of 1997."
O'Hara: So what did happen, exactly?
Michaels: What didn't? Sculpted rubber nipples on the Batsuit, a string of horrible ice-related puns, Alicia Silverstone with a double chin
so embarrassing. For all of us. The city needed a clean slate, so we just kinda started the whole Batman thing over again.
O'Hara: Wow, I I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Michaels: It's OK, O'Hara. Everything's a lot better now. Remember that D.A., Harvey Dent? He's back too.
Michaels: Neither, O'Hara. Neither.
O'Hara: Ah, I see what you mean.