In Movies


Dude, you see that guy? Yeah, the one with the whole DZ house surrounding him. He is the man! He throws the sickest parties, everybody comes to them. I think he seriously knows every person here, I don't know how he does it. Every single hot chick on campus comes I'm not even lying. No, he's not a douchebag at all, he's cool with anybody. I saw him take this total acapella group dork and hook him up with a smoking hot babe. Yeah, he's been here a while but he's just making the most of his time in school. You know what he told me once? He looked me in the eye and said "Graduating from college is like retiring from fun." He's like f-ing Confucius. The professors all love him, they all practically beg him to take their classes. He's got this sweet job waiting for him when he decides to get out of here. Yeah he just said he "doesn't need the pressure of making like 750 thousand a year right now." How cool is that.

Real Life

Yo, you see that guy? No, the one holding on to his backpack straps and sprinting across the quad. Yeah, I thought he was like a teacher's assistant or something too, but he's a student. He's gotta be close to 30. My brother was here to visit last week and said they used to make fun of that guy back when he was here. My brother that graduated three years ago. The only time I ever see him is when he's knocking people out of his way to get to class or when he's eating alone in the cafeteria. No, I don't still eat in the caf, I just saw him there. Whatever. Did you hear the rumor that he might be the guy from that internet video? Yeah, the Star Wars kid. I don't know it could be true, maybe that's why he keeps to himself, because he's so embarrassed. He probably wants to just crawl in a hole and disappear. I know I would if I were him. I had a friend who had a class with him once, he said he was the biggest pain in the ass ever. The professor stopped paying attention to him cause he would just interrupt with the most insane garbage. Oh, and I heard all he ever talks about is Batman.