Director: CUT! Rick, what the hell. I've explained this to you like six times. It's a pretend TV show. This is the only episode. Just read the cue cards, OK? Action.
Rick: Hi, welcome to our pretend TV show "Sex Talk," where tonight—
Director: CUT!! Rick, you can't tell them it's fake. We're trying to fool people here. Why do you think we shelled out like eighty three bucks on this set?
Rick: Looks great, by the way.
Director: God damn right it does. But it's gotta sound as convincing as it looks, OK? So try it again from the top. Action!
Rick: Hi, welcome to "Sex Talk," where tonight we're discussing Extenze, the amazing male enhancement pill that's sold a gajillion bazillion units and counting!
Fading porn star Kelly Vagina: That's right, Rick! Extenze is an all-natural supplement that increases the size of that certain part of the male anatomy…
Rick: You mean dicks, Kelly?
Director: CUT!!!
Rick: What now?
Director: Rick, we don't say "dick" in these ads. Just stick with "that certain part of the male anatomy," OK? We keep things classy here. Kelly, push that cleavage up a little bit more. Aaaand action!
Kelly: Men all over the country have tried it, and we have one with us tonight. Sir, what did Extenze do for you?
Testimonial giver: Well, you know, I… (Grins) got bigger…
Kelly: (Feigning confusion)You mean Extenze gave you more muscles?
Testimonial giver: (Grinning) No…
Kelly: It made you taller?
Testimonial giver: (Grinning wider) Nope…
Rick: It increased the size of your (Looks at director) …certain part of the male anatomy?
Testimonial giver: Totally. Wait you're talking about my cock, right?
Director: CUT!!! Christ, not you too. Guys, again, it's "male anatomy."
Rick: Yeah, but… why?
Director: Because I want to leave something to the imagination, Rick. I want the audience to ask themselves, "What part of the male anatomy are they talking about?" I want them on the edge of their seats trying to figure it out. CAN'T THERE BE ANY MYSTERY LEFT IN THIS WORLD!? Jesus! Alright guys, forget this scene for right now. Let's get the doctor in here to say all his doctor crap.
Dr. Long: (Walking in) Is the lab coat really necessary?
Director: Absolutely. Lab coat equals smart equals people believe everything you say. Aaaaand ACTION!
Dr. Long: So… I've conducted years of totally authentic research on these pills, and I can tell you from a for real medical perspective, they really do increase the size of that certain part of a man's body...
Rick: (To the director) What the hell, man? The guy's a doctor. A doctor would at least say "penis."
Dr. Long: I'm not really a doctor, dude. I just play one in pornos sometimes.
Kelly: Um, can we get this testimonial guy out of here yet? He won't stop staring at my boo— I mean, those certain parts of the female anatomy.
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