So remember a couple weeks ago when I was all wtf about how sex with Verne Troyer worked? Well somebody up there loves me, because my prayers for explanation have been answered. Mini Me's girlfriend lays it all on the table in an interview that gives new meaning to the term 'overshare'. Can words be NSFW? If so, consider yourself warned. (DListed)

Done puking? Let's move on!

Great news, guys – not only did Megan Fox dump her boyfriend, but screenshots from her new movie reveal one of those 'inexplicably bra-less hard wet nipple' scenes! Hooray! Move over Kirsten Dunst in that scene from Spiderman, there's a new set of inexplicably bra-less hard wet nipples in town. (Hollywood Tuna, WWTDD)

Speaking of Spiderman, the man himself Tobey Maguire went ballistic on a bunch of paparazzi this week who were blinding him with flashes as he tried to drive. I for one am totally impressed. Is it possible that Tobey Maguire is actually the real superhero, and Spiderman is just his plain clothes identity? Or did I just BLOW your MIND?! (DListed)

Bikini pictures from Eva Longoria's most recent sunbathing excursion have started a series of pregnancy rumors. Also started: a series of she was just stretching rumors. Not sure which camp is right, but damn do they both have solid arguments. (Egotastic)

Brooke Hogan did a 'sexy' photoshoot this week to promote her new reality show 'Brooke Knows Best.' I honestly can't decide if these are hot or not. Guys? Half of me is like, hmm, not too shabby, and then the other half of me is worried I'm looking into the face of Satan. Opinions? (Egotastic)

Amy Winehouse! A week does not go by where you do not amaze me. This week, Amy was nice enough to pull down the front of her pants juuuust enough for us to see her pubes. Now isn't she just the sweetest. Next week (fingers crossed!) she promised blow a snot rocket into someone's mouth. What an angel. (IDLYITW)

Jamie Lynn Spears posed with her new baby (and a fancy new Grandma wig!) for Ok! Magazine this week. Is it just me, or is she holding the baby like you would a doll? She's not, like, supporting its neck or anything. Give it a few weeks and she's going to be dragging it around by the leg, bumping its head on uneven sidewalks and dribbling popsicle juice onto its face. (Celebslam)

Exciting news from the Jennifer Lopez camp – not only did J Lo successfully give birth a few weeks ago, but sources say she's already pregnant again! This time, she's carrying the baby in her giant ass. (Egotastic)

Lindsay Lohan is totally gay
. Not only has she been holding hands with notorious lesbian DJ Sam Ronson, but the two of them went to Disneyland together. If that doesn't sound the gay alert, I don't know what does. Sidenote: is it just me, or does Sam Ronson look like a gross young version of Allison Janney? (WWTDD)

Jim Carrey was up to his old tricks this week, switching bathing suits with girlfriend Jenny McCarthy while spending some time at the beach. I personally adore Jim Carrey, but clearly not as much as the people behind him in these pictures do. A man in a ladies bathing suit is the funniest thing these people have ever seen, and they've all seen Norbit, so that's saying something. (WWTDD)

Have you guys heard about this weird A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz business? Rumor has it that A-Rod was cheating on his wife with Madonna while his wife was cheating on him with Lenny Kravitz, and now everybody's getting divorced. It's like some tabloid writer put the names of a bunch of random famous people in a hat and created a love triangle between the first three he pulled out. Next we're going to find out that Lenny Kravitz's wife was cheating on him with Bill O'Reilly, while Bill O'Reilly's wife was cheating on him with Alf. (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey had a baby boy this week, and celebrated the special occasion by drawing a tuxedo on his bare chest. (Celebslam)

And last but not least, this week's 'Still Got It' award. This week was a tough one, with honorable mentions going to both Molly Shannon and Michael Jackson, but our official honoree is Mick Jagger. Look at that tongue, people. Mick is a straight-up zombie. (Celebslam)