Naked guy at the gym who has the handlebar mustache of a weightlifter from the 1800's and sack that looks like a plastic grocerybag.

He's very strict in his routine and remains a fixture at your local fitness club despite the fact that he hasn't exercised in over a quarter century. He can be seen standing in front of the sink closest to the urinals shaving his face with his disgusting elderly genitals completely exposed.

Don't bother handing him a towel, it is a futile effort. He'll simply thank you for it and put it around his neck, before launching into a series of hamstring stretches on the bench next to your locker.

No one has gotten him to cover up – It's impossible.

Gel-enthusiast who is psyched about his Italian heritage, but impartial to shirt buttons serving their purpose.

This gem of a human can be found at any establishment that serves alcohol within 500 feet of a beach. His hobbies include Jeter-worship, tanning, and blowing dudes on the sly.

In between pumping his fist and ordering dozens of test tube shots, he can be seen having his photo taken with women who are almost as hairless and tan as he is. These photos will end up in one or more of the following places: Myspace, Facebook, or some shitty club's gallery of terribly unenticing promotional pictures.

No one has found a reason for socializing with this person.

Perpetually confused female driver who is an expert at three things: the roll down your window hand motion, not knowing where she is, and being mislead by me.

This woman is always on the go and will never reach her destination. She has good intentions and a natural reliance on the kindness of strangers. She's an incredible person – to laugh at and punish for being foolish enough to ask for assistance.

Don't feel bad after giving her directions that would place her miles from her destination. Even if she were to get to that hospital in a timely fashion, it wouldn't change the fact that her husband was going to die. For all you know, you could have spent precious seconds offering help and insight to an area you're vastly familiar with and missed out on purchasing your copy of "Step Up 2: The Streets".

Best Buy wasn't about to have two release dates. You made the right choice.