Ethan: Is the All Star Game over yet? When the NL had Aaron Cook on the mound and Cristian Guzman playing third, I passed out.
Amir: I'm about 90% sure it ended in a tie. Isn't there a better way to end these 5 hour exhibition games? Fastest pitch contest?!
Ethan: I really, really wanted for Kazmir to reach his pitch count limit. What would have happened then? "All right, Scott
we're shifting you to the outfield. Sizemore, you can pitch, right?" Do you think Dan Uggla was playing a drinking game where he had to take a shot every half-inning?
Amir: People are feeling bad for Terry Francona for running out of players, but what about Clint Hurdle? His team is almost 20 games under .500 and they just taunt him by surrounding him with All-Stars. Would he have still gotten to coach if he was fired in June?
Ethan: To be fair, he was curious why he couldn't pick Jeff Francis as his starter. "I don't care that he's injured and terrible
stick with who brought you to the dance, fellas." After seeing Dioner Navarro get thrown out at the plate while apparently running in oatmeal, I'm curious who'd win a footrace: Navarro or Dikembe Mutombo
Amir: Josh Hamilton would beat them both. At anything. Even a long-name-having contest He can do anything. Why does the MLB All-Star game even have an MVP. Shouldn't it just have a "Guy who had the most RBI's Award?"
Ethan: I was amazed watching Hamilton on Monday night, but for me, the highest comedy was his senior citizen pitcher. After Hamilton destroyed the first round, he came off the mound and they had an exchange of "So we're done, right?" "No, two more rounds." "Oh my." Poor Justin Morneau, though
scores the winning run, wins the Home Run Derby, and nobody's giving him any respect. He's even more disrespected than that poor pitiful Brett Favre.
Amir: If the Packers would just release him maybe he could at least join the Texas Rangers?
Ethan: Does all of this stuff now finally validate my theory that Favre is a glory-hounding asshole? How did the Packers make him feel unwelcome? Did someone say, "You were probably one of the top five QBs in the league last season. Now get the hell out of here
we want for Aaron Rodgers to finally become a real draft bust for us
Amir: I'm on Favre's side actually. If they're not going to let him play, they shouldn't cock-block him from signing with another team.
Ethan: Oh, come on. You think they should say, "Hey, you acted you were going to retire for several years, finally did it, and now we're going to let you go play for Minnesota?" Won't you EVER think about Tarvaris Jackson's feelings?
Amir: I think we all know the answer to that.
Ethan: What I can't understand is that if Favre wants to come back, why the Packers won't let him. Are they trying to prove a point? He's not their kid. And Aaron Rodgers may be good, but he was also drafted high as a Jeff Tedford-coached QB. The other Tedford QBs: Trent Dilfer, Akili Smith, Joey Harrington, and Kyle Boller. Let's start on Rodgers' plaque for the Hall of Fame right now.
Amir: Personally I'd like to see him play on the Bears for one season. You'd hate to see that defense go to waste. Or maybe back to Atlanta. He's still a Falcon at heart
Ethan: The Bears are too bad. They just signed Kevin Jones, and he's arguably an upgrade. Does Favre think this is all a great idea? If he got cut, do you think that he'd have to send tape of him throwing to teams he was looking at? And would that Wrangler commercial where he throws the dog the stick count?
Amir: He probably regretting retiring at his retirement press conference. That's what those tears were about.
Ethan: That or he found out that it's hard to get a Vicodin prescription from anyone other than team doctors.
Amir: No pain killer, no gain killer.
Ethan: You think Favre feels unwanted? Marcus Camby just got traded for the right to swap second round draft picks. The Nuggest originally asked for two bags of Baked Lays, but the Clippers talked the offer down.
Amir: Elgin Baylor is a shrewd negotiator. And if Camby/Kaman doesn't work on the court, surely a reality television show about those two living together will!
Ethan: The Clippers' roster is now starting to resemble that of a fantasy team whose owner forgot to prepare for the draft. "Ummm
and Chris Kaman
with my fourth round pick
is Clyde Drexler still playing?"
Amir: "No. The Rockets won't release him."
Ethan: If the Glyde is guilty of anything, it's of prematurely retiring. Got an interesting fact for us? And don't say "Scott Kazmir was on a pitch count last night," because that got mentioned once or twice by Joe Buck.
Amir: From the Wonderful World of Elgin Baylor: Did you know he made it to the finals 8 times with the Lakers and NEVER WON? Then, the day after he played his last game with the Lakers they started their NBA record 33 game winning streak en route to a title? Talk about clubhouse cancer.
Ethan: Clippers fans knew there would be a silver lining if he eventually left. Until next week, get excited for
this is a slow sports week
go to the beach or something.
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