Nurse: Okay… your name?

Me: Josh.

Nurse: And you pregnant?

Me: Huh.

Nurse: I know this is sensitive. Take your time.

Me: I'm not pregnant. In fact, I'm sure I'm not pregnant.

Nurse: Be honest.

Me: I'm a man! I physically cannot give birth.

Nurse: Look hon, you don't have to tell me you're pregnant. I can tell. You have that attitude.

Me: The what? The pregnant attitude? Is that an attitude?

The doctor comes in.

Doc: Excuse me. Nurse? You're in the wrong room.

Me: …

Nurse: I know you're pregnant.

The nurse leaves.

Doc: Sorry about that. We needed your nurse in the room over, where your friend Dave is giving birth.

Me: He's just fat! Dave! DAVE!!