Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
July 31, 2008
The Great Gatsby
Places I Want To Go Before I Die
They say dog is man's best friend. Which makes the fact that my girlfriend slept with my dog even more unacceptable.
Real Questions that Sound Like Jokes But Aren't
-You know how if you discriminate by race you are a racist? Does that mean if you discriminate by age you are an ageist?
-Why is it when you are driving a ship you are called a captain, but when you are driving a plane you are called a pilot?
-You know the phrase "When all is said and done?" Do we really need the "and done" part?
They say that chicks dig scars, but try telling that to the last six women I've stabbed.
When I was 13 my brother asked me how much money it'd cost for me to drink the water from a Port-A-Potty. I told him I'd never pay someone more than 80 dollars.
A McDonalds $50 gift card is no gift, it's a dare.
High gas prices are hurting America. If fuel costs continue to rise our rappers will have no choice but to sing about their fleet of Priuses.
There's a lot about Life that I don't get. Like why do you get the same amount of money for curing the common cold
becoming president? Also, since when are there five hundred thousand dollar bills?
Pickup Lines Of History's Greatest Men
-"Space-time isn't the only thing that's curved"
-"Fetch me some calomel, Ms.Hemings, I think I may have come down with jungle fever."
-"How would you like to be Beethoven's fifth?"
-"You know, there are certain things I could eat during a hunger strike."
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