What makes a man? Is it the way he opens doors for ladies?His tendency to follow cleanliness? To be nurturing to his friends andfamily? If you said yes to any of these I suggest you lay down on yourbig ass pillow and dream the fuck on friend!
Some dudes have girlfriends, long term, and I have noticed that in that time there has been a term that I have been put into practice and that is "testosterone poisoning" the balls are now placed on a shelf next to Maroon 5 albums their girlfriends had gotten them as gifts. And I wish to change that.
Being a man all depends on who you base your life on, who you idolize and who you tend to follow the said "path" with. And when you get your old lady knocked up you know you want your new born son to come out of the womb waving the American flag while chowing down on a fucking rib eye steak stuffed with another rib eye steak. And on the way home you two are chatting and realize that this kid, who is fourteen hours old, has slept with more chicks than you. You will sit back while your recuperating wife does the driving andsay "you are my son".
As a man, I know I would want this of my son. And knowing this, I wish to passoff this advice to all males and possibly females out there. I suggest to sit down one day and pop in these DVDs, like you would pop in a Ron Jeremy boner into a chick and takes notes from these movies that will clearly teach you inthe ways of being a man. And before you know it, you will be trading in yourpiss poor lite beer for Guinness, fighting people to just pass the time and seeing more ax wounds than Paul Bunyan.
1. Die Hard:
This movie is like a hand job from God. Pretty much every five minutes there is some sort of explosion, someone gets shot or Bruce Willis tells the principal from "Breakfast Club" to shut his slut of a mouth. If you watch this movie, I guarantee your testosterone level will growat least by eighty five percent.
2. The Boondock Saints:
After watching this movie you yourself might become what is affectionately called a "Poondock Saint", dick slamming chicks left and right for the greater good of dudes who are committed to a long term relationship and can't go out and get chicks every Friday or Saturday night.You will be doing a service for those who have fallen.
Steve McQueen doesn't take shit from anyone, not even SteveMcQueen, it's a paradox. Steve McQueen is pretty much the epitome of manliness and after watching this movie you will approach the border dividing manliness and boyhood and you will tear through it riding a rocket powered motorcycle that runs only on unicorn blood.
4. Rambo (any of them):
Sylvester Stallone rips dudes apart in this movie, literally and figuratively. The reason this movie is so manly is because after watching this, you might grow two or three extra balls, that's totally normal, you are just becoming an "uber man".
5. The Rock:
In this movie Sean Connery involuntarily impregnated millions of woman, because his manliness soaked through the screen. And could you not see the metaphor of the rock being a standoffish woman who won't let anyone in and the one person who is able to get into it is Sean "Open Handed Slap to the Face" Connery? I suggest watching this mainly due to its huge metaphor for having sex, and the sweet explosions that happen in between.