Robin Hood: Halt!

Awww crap.

Robin Hood: I can tell by your reaction that you must know who I am. So you must know that to cross through this neighborhood, you must pay the fee.

Passerby: What's the fee?

Robin Hood: Well, all of your money and valuables, of course.

Passerby: That's more of a jack than a fee, then, isn't it?

Robin Hood: Do not get fresh of the tongue with me, good sir, I am merely doing what needs to be done.

Passerby: Ok, ok, you can have my money, just, please don't hurt me.

Robin Hood: Hurt you? Why would I do such a thing? For I am Robin of Loxley, but I am sure you know me as Robin Hood.

Passerby: Look, I don't care who you are, just…wait why would you tell me your name, I can identify you to the police now.

Robin Hood: The Sheriff will never be able to take down the hero that is Robin Hood.

Passerby: The Sheriff? Sheriffs don't do anything, I'm talking about the cops. Plus, you're not a hero, you're kind of a dick.

Robin Hood: But I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich and I give to the poor.

Passerby: Yeah, it's called Armed Robbery, it's something that criminals do. They steal from people because they want money…because they are poor. Plus I'm not rich, I'm in college.

Robin Hood: Not rich, ha! I spied you exiting your horseless carriage. Now try to tell me you are not of the noble class.

Passerby: That's my dad's car. It's a '97 Buick Regal.

Robin Hood: The sign of nobility! Now, if you don't mind, my Merry Men and I will be taking your loot and moving on our way.

Passerby: Your gang is called the "Merry Men." That's pretty gay. You might want to change that before you run into the Crips or the Bloods. Maybe pick something more intimidating.

Robin Hood: You…you really think so?

Passerby: Yeah. Look, here's like 3 bucks, it's all I got. I figure you probably need it more than I do.

A few minutes later…

Robin Hood: Halt!

Pedestrian: Sorry, I don't have any change.

Robin Hood: But I am Robin Hood!

Pedestrian: Get a job!