It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to here!
Let's just say I wasn't using my bath towel to wipe off the toilet every time you dribbled on the seat
My roommate this year is an old friend from high school. We've known each other a very long time and have confided in each other just as long. He had an away message up the other day that said one of his friends told him she was pregnant. When I saw him next I asked him who it was and he refused to tell me, refused to play 20 question, and then started giving fake names out to my other friends so they could fuck with me. To get back at him, I went on facebook and created an event calling it his baby shower. I came up with a back story, where the girl was from, when he met her etc. All of which was pretty easy considering he told me about some random chick he plowed at a wedding a few months back. I invited all of our friends, including his ex girlfriend, to come out to celebrate him becoming a daddy. I never told him about the event and he doesn't check facebook often so he was rather surprised to see all our friends waiting for him at the bar with balloons and gifts. It actually worked out better than I had hoped because not only was he surprised and pissed, but after a few beers he started reciting the story and telling everyone it was true. Everyone was buying him beers and shots getting him ridiculously drunk until his mom called. His sister apparently found the event and told his mom and boy was she pissed. The whole bar could hear her screaming at him on the phone. He hung up on her. His mom now wants him to move back home.
Andrew W., School Not Given
My dumbass roommate sophomore year always had his fat, ugly girlfriend over. She would always annoy the hell out of me and my friends and would eat my food. The two of them would have sex just about every other night with the lights on. It was most annoying on the nights before my exams. Basically, they were like wild runny rabbits discovering sex for the first time. I had enough. So when he went out with his girlfriend to see some shitty movie, I worked the entire night setting up my plan. I loosened the bolts and springs on his bed which was lofted high above the ground, placed a warm dog turd in each of his slippers, and rigged the lights so they wouldn't turn on. He brought his girlfriend back that night as expected and promptly started having sex. I left the room to give them some privacy. When I saw him the next day he had a cast on and I eventually heard that during anal sex, the bed had collapsed. When the bed crashed to the floor he fell off and hit his table and broke his right arm. The sudden pulling action in his girlfriend's anus stretched her rectum. They had to go to the hospital immediately but he drove a stick and due to his fracture he could not drive so he had to get a close friend to drive him and his girlfriend to the hospital. Oh, and I never saw those slippers again.
Peter, Carnegie Mellon University
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