Last semester my boyfriend was going out to a bar with his friends and I'm like, "Please hunny, can I come with you guys?" But he tells me it's "Boy's Night". WTF?! So of course I'm like whatever and decide to just show up anyways. When I get to the bar he's surprised to see me, but he's like "Alright, it's no biggie." It better not be! So we're at the bar and I start drinking a little, and granted, I'm getting a little tipsy, and I say to myself, "If it's boy's night, why not show these boys a good time?" So I try to climb on the bar so I can get my Coyote Ugly on, and this douche bartender is like "Sweety, you can't do that here." I get into this big argument with the bartender, and then, if you can believe this, my BF comes over can says, "Stop it, you're embarrassing me." So at this point I'm totally pissed! But instead of yelling at him, I decide to get him back. So I threw up all over his dorm room and peed in his bed. I know right?! Got him good. I doubt he'll ever say that again!
Last year there was this really hot girl in my BIO 101 class that I had been eyeing all semester long. Seriously, like a 9.5, super hot! So one night my roommate and I are out at a bar and I notice she's at the bar too. I point her out to my roomie and say, "Dude check out that girl, she's in my Bio class, how hot is she?" And get this! He goes back with her to her apartment and hooks up with her! Dude, I was so pissed. It doesn't matter that I never even talked to her, I saw her first! Obviously I was ready for revenge! So one weekend his sister comes up for a visit and I already know what I have to do. I start flirting with her all night, trust me she was feeling it, we were even beer pong partners for a game or two. So when the night was coming to an end I say to her, "Hey babe, you wanna ride the space mountain?" And she was was like, "What are you talking about?", must have been too drunk or something, so I call her a prude! Nice right?! And here's the best part, he still doesn't know to this day!
Kevin C., School Not Given
Remember when I got a D in my 'Intro to Theatre' class and you were like, "How do you get a D in class like that?" Well one day you left your Facebook up and I changed your 'Interested in:' to guys! LOL! I bet you heard a lot of jokes about that one! Who's acting now bitch?!
Jim B., USC
So I had this roommate freshman year and let me tell you, this guy was a real stronzo. Seriously, this ciuccio would do things like take my whey protein, drink my Remy, I even think I caught this goomba copying my dance moves. You think I'm going to deal with that shit? Forget about it! So one night we're all heading out to the club and while he's taking a shower I hide his hair gel. So we're all waiting out in the caddy, watching some De Niro flick, and I get this frantic phone call from him like, "Vinny, you seen my gel?" Of course I'm like "Nah bro, hurry your ass up!" Next thing you know he's getting into the car looking like a mop head. He didn't get no ass that night! You see what happens when you get on my bad side bro?!
Vinny Santrillo, Rutgers