Day 1: ‰ awoke today to having some chick whisper in my ear. ‰ totally thought I was going to have a sex dream, but as it turns out it's a princess! "o I'm going to leave and try to find her. ‰ hope I can in all of this rain. „ay 2: "he good news is I found the princess and did some sick-shit with a sword I never knew I could, downer, my uncle's dead. „ay 3: "oday I decided to take a short cut through the river. ‰ jump in and I fucken drown! —hat the hell. "ome people are telling me I need flippers or some shit. ‰ know how to swim. "he weirdest thing of all though, is how I jumped in the water, immediately sank and appeared back on shore. „ay 4: "o I ran into a tree today by accident and hundreds of bees came out and attacked me. ‰t hurt a lot, luckily there was a near by river that I jumped into. fterwards I needed to replenish my health, just then a soldier attacked me! ‰ fought back and beat his ass, weird thing though, his HEART was left behind, when I touched it to check it out it disappeared and I felt great, strange. „ay 5: "o I decided I'm going to leave this diary back at home and update it every-so-often because It keeps getting wet every time I go into water. „ay 15: h my god. 'emember how people tell you to eat right and exercise and you'll live a longer life? —ell I found a shortcut. "here's these HUGE monsters in castles and you kill them and they leave a GIANT heart. ‰t sounds gross but you touch it and BAM, you find yourself with more energy, it's great! „ay 19: kay, so there's this darkworld place which is pretty creepy, but I don't want to dwell on it. ‰nstead I want to tell you about how I dislocating my shoulder today. ‰ was in a castle filled with water. ‰t was a good time (oh, sidenote: ‰ got flippers from a HUGE fish and now i can swim!) nyway, I opened this treasure chest to find a thing called a "hook-shot." ‰t looked neat, but I had no idea how to use it. †inally I figured it out, however, I wish I knew it was going to yank me at full force to where I shot it. ˆow am I supposed to fight evil with a bum arm? —ell diary, I must go now and fight more evil. h, by the way, the princess, HOT, and she has freak ears like me!