Clearly we live in a completely new era of security awareness than wedid pre-9/11. Our security is no longer determined by numbers, military strength, or the length and height of our white picket fence separating us from Mexico. Today it is determined by a system of colors. A color system so vast, it would put a rainbow to shame even if it contained magically delicious marshmallows. Im sure everyone can make their own determination what the difference between green and red might be, but how about lavender? Aqua, perhaps? I didn't think so. This is why its so important that we remain ever so vigilant in these tough times. Know your terrorist!

Terrorists are commonly associated with arab nations, but what you should know is a terrorist is any person who practices terrorism. That means a terrorist could be anyone. Any single person imaginable. Osama Bin Laden? Obviously. Jedis ? Of Course. Even a politician? Oh yea, and even one step further….a baby. If you want to see real terror, lookin a baby's diaper. That's real terror right there. The fear it puts inme is so horrible, i probably will be losing sleep tonight.

So now that you are aware anyone and everyone can be considered apossible terrorist, what can you do now? Look for the signs. Usually they speak in a secret language, dress similar, are extremely secretive with their life, and fist bump. I know, this sounds ridiculous but i will convince you how ridiculous it isn't. "Knucks", "Pounds", "Fists", whatever you desire to call it, it is all only a small part to a much bigger picture. Not even a bigger picture, a lifestyle…of terrorism.

The fist bumping is generally seen in sports. Presidential campaigns(Ihave Baracknophobia). Also at parties where apparently it is all the rave amongst teens, such a trend that surveys have shown that teens prefer fist bumps over beer pong. Is this an act of defiance against "the man"? No, no, and no. Its all grassroots terrorism. And just because fist bumping was socially acceptable in the past, doesn't mean we must allow it to be now. We should stomp out fist bumps at the source…teens.

Clearly teens are the only ones upset at the way our government is.They sit in their dorm rooms, parents basements, or apartments on their rustic couch next to their bong or other marijuana smoking devicecasually discussing revolutionary/communist ideas while playing GuitarHero. With their radical ideas, the way they dress, and almost all the music(or what they call music) is only a rally cry that we must especially watch out for starting now, immediately. Easy solution here people, kill them all. And then traumatize preteens by making them feast upon the corpses of their elders. They would be to scared to trya nything, which in turn is great for us.

A person once said, two wrongs make a right. I have to disagree here. By going about our daily lives and ignoring this terrorist patty cake esque fist bumping, we delay our fate. I don't see anything "right" coming at the end of that chapter in the hopefully big book of my life that will be titled "The Blueprint To Greatness". I hate to sound radical, but we must be vigilant. Its absolutely necessary. If we are not now, all we are doing is delaying the inevitable.

Do you really want to live in a nation of fear? My proposal is simple, just start punching…at every single opportunity. Birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, church, elevator rides, while using a public restroom because everyone knows there is nothing that will ruin yourday more than a cheap shot while taking a dump. Anyone who holds a fistup in anticipation of acquiring your "bump" shall receive your fist, oh yes they shall, but they will take that fist straight to their face. At which point you maybe pummel them at your own will. Fight fire with fire? Fight terror….with fists to the face!