Every year the biggest and brightest starts in entertainment come together for one weekend to celebrate excellence in writing, acting and directing.

It's not the Golden Globes or the People's Choice Awards – it's the AVN Adult Video Awards in Las Vegas.

The AVN's are like the Oscars of porn. With nearly 100 categories including best group-sex scene and best big-bust series, the AVN's is an event where the stars of today shine – and the stars of tomorrow are born.

This is the reason I'm sitting on a plane traveling from Minneapolis to Las Vegas.

I've decided that it's time for me to realize one of my life-long dreams and become the next great male porn star.

With only 24 hours to launch myself into superstardom, I know that I'll need to get an early start. It's Friday night and I check myself into the hotel, have a few drinks and head off to bed to rest up for rise to greatness.

Game Day

I wake up Saturday morning around 8:30 a.m. and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Today is the final day of the AVN Expo, where all of the biggest stars in the industry will be on hand to sign autographs, take photos and interact with fans.

Before I head out, I crank out a few push-ups in order to make myself look as pumped up as possible.

I throw on my Sex World tank top (reppin' a local Twin Cities sex shop), to better show off my 6'1", 140 pound frame and look in the mirror.

Damn I'm sexy.

The last thing I need to do is choose a name. All of the big stars have awesome names like "Randy Spears" and "Devin Sensual." Unfortunately I'm from the Midwest, so I am not blessed with a naturally cool porn name.

After a little bit of deliberation, I finally decide on the name "Tim Cockplenty."

With my new name and tons of dedication, I hop in a cab and head to the expo.

The Promise Land

The event is being held at the Sands Expo Center, just a few miles away from Mandalay Bay, the site of this evening's AVN Awards.

As I stand in line to enter the expo I survey the scene around me. The crowd is mostly guys with the average age probably somewhere between 30 and 40-years-old.

My interest in the crowd and their taste in porn quickly fades as I walk through the doors and enter the promise land – I've arrived at the AVN Expo.

It's like a porn lover's dream. Everywhere I look, I'm greeted by larger-than-life banners and displays from all of the big companies.

Established companies such as Wicked, Vivid and Hustler are previewing upcoming releases on plasma screen TV's, while the big contracted stars like Jessica Drake and Celeste Star sign autographs and pose for photos with fans.

I'm overwhelmed at first, but pull it together quickly. After all, I've got a porn career to launch.

Chasing the Dream

After finishing up a quick lap to collect free samples of lube and DVD previews, I decide to get down to business.

I stake out a spot across from the Bang Bros booth and prepare for the rush of fans.

Surprisingly, none of these fans seem to be interested in taking my photo, even after I strike a few poses to show off the merchandise.

After a few minutes of flexing I decide to seek advice from some of the industry's established male stars.

Former Playgirl model and Internet star Rico Elbaz (ricoelbaz.com) doesn't have much advice to offer, but he does take the time to pose for a photo and compliment me on my tank top.

Slightly discouraged, I stop by the PinkVisual booth to see if I can get some female perspective on how to make it big. Unfortunately, my conversation with Priscilla Milan is cut short by porn-hungry fans begging for photos.

Suddenly, I feel an overwhelming sense of panic. My cross-country journey is beginning to feel like a lost cause, as I can't seem to catch a break and jump start the career of Tim Cockplenty.

I wander past a fake lawn setting where the girls from AbbyWinters.com are offering a yoga demonstration, and I notice a large crowd lined up around the corner to meet porn legend Ron Jeremy.

Watching both men and women alike flood to the man affectionately known as "the hedgehog" I can't help but wonder, why not me?

What does Ron Jeremy have that Tim Cockplenty doesn't? What's the secret to being a male porn star?

Defeated, I begin to walk towards the exit, contemplating what shallow career choice I can make to help ease the pain of giving up my dream.

Then, I see him.

AVN hall of famer and porn pioneer, Tom Byron is standing in a booth near the exit, chatting with one of his female co-stars and a few fans.

To those who don't know the name, Google it. For real.

Tom Byron has been in the industry for over 20 years and has worked with nearly every major star to come through the business, both as an actor and a director.

I wait a few minutes until I see the fans begin to walk away.

This is it. It's now or never.

I approach Tom with the same awe and excitement as a 5-year-old meeting Mickey at Disney World for the first time.

I compliment him on his recent work in Layout, and then I go for it.

"So Tom, I have to know. What do you think is the key to becoming a male superstar in the adult entertainment industry today?"

I hold my breath as he scratches his head and adjust his sunglasses.

"Ah, shit. I don't know. I guess it's just having a big cock."

This is truly the greatest moment of my life.

 I shake his hand, grab a few more samples of lube to bring back for my family and walk out the door, completely satisfied with how my day has unfolded.

Looking to the Future

That night is the 25 annual AVN Awards. It's a monumental night in the industry as Jenna Jameson announces her retirement, and Evan Stone wins the award for male performer of the year.

All of that pales in comparison to the excitement that I'm still feeling as I sit in the bar at my hotel, scrolling through photos from the weekend.

No, I didn't manage to launch my career in porn and sign a huge contract deal. But what I did get was a look into the mind of a porn icon (and the 2008 AVN award winner for best actor-film) and take away a solid piece of advice to steer me towards my destiny.

I've got 364 days until next year's AVN's. I've also got a pump and a dream.

Tim Cockplenty will be back at the AVN's in '09. I will be back.