Blue Ranger: Hey Pokémon cards, how's it going?
Pokémon Cards: Not so great Blue. Bulbasaur fell out of his protective sleeve, and we're having a lot of trouble getting him back in, what with our lack of hands.
Razor Scooter: Why don't you just have Eddie do it? He's got hands, right?
Pokémon Cards: Pffft, like that'll happen. The only time he ever comes over to this back corner of the closet anymore is to grab his porn collection, and his hands aren't really available after that.
Beanie Babies: Hetero porn, right?
Pokémon Cards: Yeah.
Beanie Babies: Ha! I knew it! His dad kept saying he was going to turn out gay if he kept buying me, but I knew that was BS.
Tamagotchi: Or maybe it was true, and the reason he's straight is because he hasn't spent any time with you in twelve years.
Beanie Babies: Oh, shut up Tamagotchi! Everyone knows you're nothing but a glorified Pet Rock!
Tamagotchi: Oh yeah? Well the only reason he even has so many of you is because his mom felt bad for not letting him see The Nutty Professor!
Furby: Doo dah?
Razor Scooter: Oh, damn it, how did Furby get knocked upside down this time?
Pokémon Cards: Our bad guys, we knocked him over trying to help out Bulbasaur.
Blue Ranger: I thought these things were supposed to learn English.
Tamagotchi: They only learn what they hear, and since Eddie's not speaking English around him anymore he can only speak Furbish, or whatever it's called.
Blue Ranger: Holy shit, I think he just asked me to pee on him.
Razor Scooter: So what? It's not like you have anything down there except plastic.
Blue Ranger: You swore you would never tell!
Beanie Babies: Oh, don't be so dramatic, we've all known for years. Now is there any way we can get this thing to shut up and go back to sleep?
Pokémon Cards: You have to turn him over. And we can't really do that without hands, remember?
Goku: Eddie will do it.
Beanie Babies: Eddie doesn't come here anymore except for porn, Goku, remember? Come on, you should know this by now.
Goku: That's not true. Eddie will love me and play with me forever, and even if by some miracle he ever does get tired of me, he'll just sell me to some other kid for more money than his parents bought me for, and then that kid will play with me forever. I heard him say it.
Tamagotchi: We all heard him say it. Many times. The thing is, it wasn't true, and sooner or later you're going to have to come out of denial and deal with that.
Goku: No, no, he meant everything, and he'll come back to play with me soon, I just know it. Look! He's coming right now! OH MY GOD HE'S COMING RIGHT NOW!!!
Blue Ranger: Hey, he really is coming! This is great!
Goku: See! See, I told you he meant what he said! And now he's coming back to play with me and set up another epic battle with me in the living room and-
Pokémon Cards: And he's going right for the porn shoebox, as usual.
Porn Shoebox: Haha, sorry guys. But, hey, don't worry about it. Just give it 50 or 60 years and I'll be hanging out with the rest of you.
Viagra: Not if I can help it.
Razor Scooter: Viagra? Wait, why are you here already?
Viagra: Oh uh no, haha, you see it's just this thing, umm crap.