Tequila: C'mon Adam, just drink me. I'm so much faster, and I PROMISE this time I won't force myself upon another chicks new $100 dollar shoes. Just drink me.
Hat: Yo bro! Wear me dawg! You won't look like a complete tool, I bromice!
Strawberry Conditioner: He's not going to wear you, hat. He used me today, and his hair smells fabulous!
Nintendo DS: Adam, why the hell do you never take me. All you do is stand in the back anyways. And you know you'd have so much more fun playing Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced A2: Grimoire of the Rift.
Cape: Yea seriously Adam. Why do you only wear me in the apartment! Lets go out! It'll be awesome. If you wear fake teeth we'll totally look like a vampire!!
Computer: F*ck the bar, man. Stay here and stream a movie from one of those websites with me. And then at eleven we have a raid planned with the guild. You don't have time to go out. The bar is f*cking lame.
Necklace: Seriously Adam, what's the point of wearing me if you keep me inside your shirt. I can't dazzle if you don't meet me halfway.
Listerine: Did somebody say dazzle?!?
Toothpaste: Shut up Listerine, you suck.
Beer: What are you DOING!! Put tequila down! Goddammit!!
Tequila: That's my dawg! Yea! Now you're f*cked up! Hey! Let's just- uh We should run to the bar! Oh my god how awesome would that be?!? Don't think just go!
Wallet: HEY!!! Come BACK!! YOU FORGOT ME!! Ugh, What an idiot! Oh well, he'll be back; he always comes back for me.
Pants: You're an asshole, tequila.