James Introcaso joins me once again this week from all the way out in LA. He took some time out of his Good Works Tour to discuss what happens when you mix gamma rays with scotch and what upcoming supermovies he's excited about.
PANEL ONE: Drunk driving's bad. I think that's something all of us can get behind. You know what's worse? Drunk superhero-ing. Imagine if the car being drunk driven could fly, shoot lasers, and read your mind. There have been some pretty heavy abusers over the years.
Sean: Of course the classic example is Tony Stark
James: Agreed. Though they didn't play it up in the movie, that man is a booze fiend
Sean: "Get me a scotch, I'm starving." I think they did a good job showing his love of the bottle.
Sean: Yeah, "tragic flaw" and all that. I'd love to see him take the suit out for a spin while tanked.
James: Or in The Avengers movie . he'll go shot for shot with the Hulk HULK SMASHED!
Sean: Of all the famous superboozers, Wolverine would be the one to drink them all under the table. His healing factor treats alcohol as a poison, so he'd literally have to drink like 11 kegs to get buzzed.
James: Which is probably the best super power ever. Imagine you can drink like a tank AND when you're finally drunk enough to hurt yourself, it doesn't matter because you'll heal from any ill earned bruises, hangovers, or STIs in a second. Still, I imagine being drunk with claws is probably a bad idea
Sean: Unless you have a healing factor, or unbreakable bones.
James: What if Superman got drunk? This was explored in Hancock.
Sean: Indeed. Apparently, if Superman got drunk, he would flop. And honestly, I couldn't blame him. Superman, that is, if he got drunk. Last of his kind, weight of the world on his shoulders, blah blah blah.
James: I think I'd like to party with Superman. Xray vision and laser eyes have advantages at parties.
Sean: The big blue boy scout doesn't stoop to such levels.
James: Sure, he's not looking through Wonder Woman's tights, OH NOOOOOOO but hey, if he had a few beers in him, he's at least got an excuse.
Sean: Of course there's the red headed step child of the Justice League, Lobo. He gets space-drunk on space-beer and gets with space-wenches and space-fights.
Sean: He's a space-Pete-Doherty!
Sean: Lame celeb reference, I'll think of something better.
James: I enjoyed it.
Sean: That's better.
PANEL TWO: The Hulk has smashed, Batman has swooped, Iron Man has been incredible, and Hancock has flopped. There doesn't seem to be much else noteworthy on the superhero movie block this summer. What are you looking forward to in the years to come?
James: Here's what I want to see: Green Lantern. The technology's there now. Let's see it.
Sean: Now there's a CGI artist's dream. Do anything. Honestly, that should just go right to Pixar.
James: Hell yeah but unfortunately, Joel Schumacher might be put on the project.
James: That man ruined my life in 1997 with the first Batman and Robin.
Sean: GREEN LANTERN!? SCHUMACHER?? JOEL F*CKING SCHUMACHER?? DOES HOLLYWOOD UNDERSTAND HOW "IMMENSE MISTAKES" WORK?
James: Apparently not they let Elektra happen.
Sean: I weep.
James: I'm totally down for a chick movie, too. Let's see Catwoman in the next Batman. I'd see Wonder Woman or Power Girl.
Sean: Oh, I'd see Power Girl. Right through that boob window.
James: Hooray for feminism!
Sean: Yeah whatever.
James: And the Oscar for Best Costumes goes to
Sean: Jenna Jameson for Power Girl!
James: Would you see a Cable/Deadpool movie?
Sean: I'd see a Deadpool movie, so I'd see a Cable/Deadpool movie as well. Here's how I think they should do it: Deadpool movie, then the sequel brings in Cable. There's a lot of story, and plenty of comedy. He's in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, you know.
James: That's true and Ryan Reynolds is playing him.
Sean: Which I think is great. He's proven he can do that zany, off-the-wall kind of comedy, and that he can do action.
James: He's also got a big love of comic books, or so I hear, which makes me feel good.
Sean: I'm just wondering if Hollywood will actually totally disfigure his pretty-boy face for the part.
James: I think so. There's enough eye candy with Hugh "100% Man" Jackman around. You might upset some women, but try pissing off 5 million crazy fanboy nerds who've been waiting for this movie for years .
Sean: Excellent point. We'll- THEY'll bring in way more profit than the ladies.
James: Right, which is what the movie studios care about. Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman could be made to be little girls in this and the women would still be lining up around the corner.
James: Right. One more movie they should make that will rock my socks off if done correctly is The Flash.
Sean: Now, I heard they had Ryan Reynolds for that, too.
James: I had heard rumors.
Sean: You know what might be interesting? Black Panther.
James: I'd see that. He's super bad ass. I'd like to see Lawrence Fishbourne in the roll or maybe Bill Cosby.
Sean: Lawrence Fishburne would actually be fantastic there. How about Luke Cage? I could see Bill Cosby in that role. 20 50 years younger and 50 pounds of muscle, maybe, but I could see it.
James: I heard they announced a Luke Cage movie and John Singleton is directing.
Sean: Now that I can get excited about.
James: Me too. I love Johnny S. and Power Man is awesome I wonder if they'll do the 70s afro version.
Sean: Iron Fist would be great too. A white kung fu guy. Can we still get Farley?
James: Beverly Hills Ninja is an amazing cinematic achievement. If they can't find him, I hear Danny DeVito is available.
Sean: Just no flippers this time.
Only two Panels this week. Either I'm running out of ideas or the drugs aren't working. What do you want to talk about? Let's hear it in the comments.
Also, that dreammatches article is coming next week, so get your picks in now!